Dude, where's the beach?

Thursday, February 24, 2005
Random Thought Strikes Again

I was chatting with a friend of mine and remembered something funny that happened to me in 1997. Actually, it was my shining moment... my big 15 minutes of fame. I was in the studio audience in Los Angeles for a talk show called 'Crook and Chase'. Didn't last long, but we used to go to these shows because they payed groups to sit and laugh on cue. It was a great reason to go down to Universal City/Hollywood. Anyways, they had Tracy Bingham from Bay Watch on the show to promote her new Trivial Persuit show. Now if you don't know who Tracy Bingham is, just click here (and don't drool on the keyboard).

I was selected to play the game with the hosts, Ms. Bingham, and another audience member. I had a blast, and even beat everyone at the game. The funny part was that it was really obvious when I introduced myself and shook hands with Ms. Bingham... my eyes did not make eye contact, but were focused on her famous Bay Watch..... you know what I'm talking about. Yes, I was young and stupid. Anyhoot, I had fun, but I looked like a total moron because I had just come back from an air show in Vegas (during the summer) and had a really bad sun burn. My head looked like a big cherry. I'm surprised they let me get in front of the camera. Maybe that's why they were cancelled.

(Yet my fan base just kept on growing)

My wife had two shining moments. First was when she was 18 and competed in the Miss Oscoda (Michigan) Pagent. Second moment was when she made it to the stage on 'The Price Is Right.' And for that reason alone I will be forever jealous of her. Bob Barker is my hero. He practically raised me. I would purposely play hookie from school just to watch his show (and play Atari of course). Because of him, every pet I've ever owned was spayed or neutured. He's also helped my golf game. Whenever someone talks trash on the course, I shout 'The Price is Wrong Bitch' and start throwing punches and beating them with my clubs. It works every time.

My wife ended up winning a ceder chest, but it's a nice one and we use it daily. Her true prize was kicking it on stage with Mr. Barker.

(Her life has never been the same since)

Update: I just emailed the Crook and Chase show to see if they can locate the tape of when I was on the show. This should be interesting. I'll keep you posted.

posted by El Capitan at 5:07 PM 2 comments

Friday, February 11, 2005
And The New Assignment Is....

"West-bound and down, load'n up and trucking. We're gonna do what they say can't be done. We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there, I'm West bound, just watch ol' Bandit run." (Name that movie)

Well, It's official, I'm heading to sunny Los Angeles California. Report no later date of late August, yet I'll be asking for a June move so the kids can get settled before school starts.

Wish us luck!

posted by El Capitan at 8:55 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Under Construction

I'm working on some new things, so bear with me....

posted by El Capitan at 4:34 PM 0 comments

If You Wish Upon A Star....

Condi For President!!!!!

Think about it. Every two-bit conservative 2008 contender is tainted via their political upbringing. She's the real deal.

She'd creamate this guy, stop this guy in his tracks, keep the tainted ones out of the race, and shut her coat-tail riding, carpet bagging ass out.

Better yet, if this guy ran as her running mate, they'd put Regan's 1984 landslide victory to shame.

posted by El Capitan at 4:00 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Oy! Talk About Team Spirit!

This isLONDON08/02/05
Rugby fan cut off his own testicles

"A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles after his team beat England, police confirmed today.
The man was rushed to hospital after the incident at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, South Wales.
A Gwent Police spokeswoman said: "We received a call from the ambulance service at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."
She said the man was taken to Heath Hospital but could not confirm his condition.
It was reported that the man told his friends: "If Wales win I'll cut my own balls off."
After the 11-9 victory in the Six Nations clash, the man is reported to have gone outside and severed his testicles before bringing them back into the club to show fellow drinkers.
A local was reported as saying that the man was on medication and should not have been drinking."
_________

I'm glad my teams always lose!

posted by El Capitan at 2:06 PM 0 comments

A radiation leak must be frying their brain cells

Why else would these Canadians want quiet Nulcear sirens placed in their town? If I lived there, I'd want one over my headboard at home... maybe even strapped to my head. At least I'd survive and avoid developing a green afterglow.

I guess they want more kinder, gentler sirens telling them they're all going to die.

posted by El Capitan at 10:22 AM 0 comments

Monday, February 07, 2005
Where it stops, nobody knows....

Just got word that my assignment location is finally in, but as always, I can't find out until Friday. Of course I worked my contacts and rounded the location down a bit. I know for a fact that I'm not headed to Maui. Yes, I'll get over it eventually.

So, my fate has been decided.

I hate not being in control.....

I'll announce where I'm headed when I find out. Until then, I'll just suffer.

posted by El Capitan at 2:33 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
The First Operation Iraqi Freedom Medal of Honor

The first Operation Iraqi Freedom Medal of Honor will be issued this coming March. Please read this story. It's inspiring to know that such great men have our backs and will do what it takes to save their fellow soldiers.

Sadly there will be more Medals awarded, but at least the recipients' heroism won't go unrecognized.

posted by El Capitan at 2:34 PM 0 comments

Free Cody!

You're going to Kill Cody! You Bastards! Set Him Free!!!!

posted by El Capitan at 10:12 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
If this is all they can do....

The most feared terrorist in Iraq, Al-Zarqawi, promised the streets of Iraq would flow with the blood of those who dared vote on 30 January 2005. The worst he could do was send a few homicide bombers, including a poor down syndrome kid, causing 36 casualties. Yes that's horrible, but in the end Zarqawi was caught with his pants down. He is weak! He is a terrorist that preys on fear, and that power of fear and intimidation is now fading. Sure, he'll keep killing people, but Iraqis are now on to his gimick, and I'm sure his days are numbered.

The second reason I know he's toast is this latest threat to behead a U.S. Soldier. Turns out these fearsome terrorists only kidnapped a G.I. Joe doll, made a small terrorist flag to drape behind him, and announced their demands to an ever-ready International Press Corps that is always ready to run a story that helps their cause.

Let me repeat myself... if this is all they can do to hurt us, the we've already won.

(Update) This is funny. I'll bet that the same people who ran with the original hostage story AFTER looking at the GI Joe picture are the same news rooms who ran the CBS Air National Guard papers, hoping to get a scoop on the story rather then trusting its integrity. I can't believe how easily fooled these 'professionals' are.

I have an idea... someone doctor up a photo of a fleet of martian ships headed towards earth, and just sit back and see what happens. Oh wait, they already fell for that one years ago.

How about some crop circle pics!

posted by El Capitan at 4:33 PM 0 comments