Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Future States of The USA
For years now I've watched the close elections in Quebec, where the French-speaking Canadians have nearly succeeded in breaking Quebec away from the Canadian Government. Now it looks as though Western Canada wants to secede as well.Two words.... Future States.
Canada has been on the verge of falling apart for decades now, and the situation seems to be getting worse thanks to the continued weakening of the Canadian Government. There doesn't seem to be any hope in sight, which is why the United States should start throwing Western Canada a few bones to help them make the decision.
Can you imagine the headlines if some Canadian provinces voted to secede and join the United States? Internationally there would be calls for 'peacekeepers' to stop any secession. The French would of course start pushing Quebec to follow suite. In the U.S. the only detractors would be on the left. They have always viewed Canada as a beacon of hope for their socialist utopia, and any collapse of the Canadian Government would be reminiscent of the fall of the Soviet Union... still the saddest event in recent history for the left leaning folks. The rest of us would of course be dancing in the streets and welcoming our fellow Americans to our happy yet dysfunctional family.
I've traveled extensively throughout Western Canada, and I'm confident we could help sway them to join the United States. Simply supply each resident with 20yrs worth of free beer and hunting rifles and the region is as good as ours. Even better, start an NHL expansion team up in the Yukon Territory if you really want to seal the deal.
Call and write your representatives in government to get the ball rolling. If we work together we can help to Canadians help themselves, and our meager little nation of 50 colonies might just double in size.
UPDATE: Of course this post wasn't intended to piss off any of my Canuk buddies up north. Trust me, we're not that conceited and self-centered down here in the states. No really, we aren't. You have to admit thought that you guys would benefit greatly from the idea.
posted by El Capitan at 5:14 PM
4 Comments:
El Capitan said...
I know what you're talking about. I guess I'm just looking at it from a 'land mass' perspective. More land, more happy. Plus, there really aren't that many people out there, so the additional moonbats out of Vancouver and the socialists a little further north won't push things too far over the edge.
10:31 AM
said...
More frozen land, you mean. Having married into a family of Western Canadians, my first thought was, "Oh great, a bunch more liberal senators."
10:59 AM said...
Haha I like ur post but Im a Canadian on the west coast and i can assure u we may not like our gov't most of the time but we are pretty united. Besides we really are way too liberal for you guys. I know im a centrist liberal and I can assure you even some of our liberals freak me out.
4:15 AM Mr Derp said...
I think it would be an excellent idea for the United States to join Western Canada.
As for all being liberals here, only partly true. Understand Western Canada as follows:
British Columbia = Washington State (good political dichotomy)
Alberta = Texas (the neck is red and oily)
Saskatchewan = that state your parents camefrom
Manitoba = that state your uncle who drinks a lot of beer comes from - (Wisconsin)