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Wednesday, October 19, 2005
This Explains Everything

The Crocodile Hunter, still spooning with his mistress 'Matilda', finally wakes up after yet another night of binge drinking and 'Crocs Gone Wild' action.

Australian study finds alcohol linked to croc attacks
"Almost one in three people bitten by deadly saltwater crocodiles in Australia had been drinking alcohol before the animal attacked, new research has found."

This study explains why Steve Irwin plays with Crocs so often. It also explains the abundance of Jack Daniels vending machines I noticed while walking around his zoo in Brisbane last year. Yes, it made for an exciting day at the Australia Zoo, but I didn't realize I was being marinated for the Crocs.
I don't remember much that day, but I do recall having to fight my way out of the park. I was too drunk to understand why all of the reptiles were coming after me. I remember it was a life and death struggle, but thankfully I made it out alive.

Crickey This You Mutha F*****!

posted by El Capitan at 3:25 PM


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