Monday, June 04, 2007
Do Not Fear The Putin, Do Not Fear The Nukes

For 45+ years the United States and Europe had to listen to threats of nuclear annihilation from the Soviet Union, aka 'Russia and Friends' for those of you born after 1985 and raised on Barney and TRL.


The way we kept the Soviet Union from starting a nuclear war was quite simple. The United States, and occasionally her allies, let the Ruskies understand that if they hit the button, we would too. In other words, if they wanted to rumble, we were all going down and it wasn't going to be pretty.


Today, Vladimir Putin's pathetic attempt to keep Estonia, Poland, Romania, and many of her other former Soviet States under its thumb by threatening nuclear attack is quite astonishingly... pathetic. Putin has successfully turned himself into a half-Stalin, half-Ivan the Great, quasi-dictator (and for all intensive purposes, a full-time dic) by stripping away the crumbs of freedom and liberty the Russian people have been scraping at for the last 15 years.

The only thing Putin doesn't have in his dictator portfolio is experience in overtly bossing around other countries like they used to do back in the good old days.


Putin has been thuggish with many former Soviet States, but most of his thuggery has been behind the curtain. Today, Putin has stepped away from the curtain (and outside of the closet) to push around and step on the little guys out in the open. Just look at his sanctioned and overtly aggressive invasion of Estonia via the World Wide Web. Putin just invaded Estonia using his Super Hacker Brigade, rolling through and shutting down most banking and governmental mainframes as easily as Stalin skipped through Poland back in 1939 to meet his buddy Hitler.


Putin's aggressive actions, combined with his newest threats of action against Europe and the United States, is right out of the Soviet playbook. It can be found under the Chapter titled 'How Gain Influence (and meet chicks) by Flexing Your Muscles.' Every schoolyard bully employs the same tactics. Pick on someone smaller and less powerful than you to make them do what you want. Yet in the Cold War days the United States was the good guy in the school yard. We were the ones that stood in between the Soviet Bully and the nerdy little guys, and most of the time we did a hell of a job helping those who needed it. Occasionally we'd screw things up, but we still graduated the Cold War school with a solid A-. The Ruskies ended up dropping out and becoming the used car (and weapons) salesman of the world.


Whenever you hear a world leader threaten the West with nuclear destruction, just remember that those bullies know deep down in their hearts the United States will turn their little countries into glass and ash if they actually start something. Putin would never oversee the destruction of Europe and the Americas, leaving the leftovers to China and a bunch of mutant grasshoppers. He's much smarter than that.

Don't worry about the big bullies in the school yard. Instead, keep focusing on the disgruntled (and slightly retarded) kids who like to build pipe bombs and make videos of hurting little animals for fun (aka the terror thugs). Those are the folks that will do the most damage if the U.S. continues holding back its full ability to kick their asses because we don't want believe their threats.

And remember...

...... as long as someone is willing to stand up to them.

Viva La Revolucion!

posted by El Capitan at 4:29 PM

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