Dude, where's the beach?

Monday, July 31, 2006
Fun With Jetblast!

What happens when you mix 60,600 pounds of engine thrust from a 747-400 with sunbathers relaxing on a beach? Now that's what I call entertainment.

I bet the pilots were laughing their asses off.

posted by El Capitan at 12:21 AM 1 comments

"The Hoff" Proves That Most of the World Is Tone Deaf

I'm speechless with this one. I never thought it was possible, but after watching this video I do believe that David Hasselhoff has lost his mind.

Either that or he got drunk one night and jumped in front of a green screen to relive the glory days.

If this is what a mid-life crisis looks like, then I want nothing to do with it. I'll just lock myself in a closet with my Atari 2600, a bottle of grape soda, and a bag of Funions.

posted by El Capitan at 12:01 AM 2 comments

Saturday, July 29, 2006
Beach... NO. Study... yes, at gunpoint

I could have gone to the beach this weekend.

I could be sitting in the sand right now, soaking up the sun and warm breeze.

I could have been splashing away in the Gulf of Mexico this very moment.

Instead...

I get to study different aspects of situational leadership in a cold dark room.

This. Sucks.

Personally, I believe leadership is something you learn out in the field with your troops. Reading about it does nothing for me other than put me to sleep.

Oh well, could be worse I guess. I could be pumping sewage from porta-jons out in Iraq.

posted by El Capitan at 1:37 PM 12 comments

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
For all of you Role Playing Gamers...

My soon to be hitched friend and 'Dude, Where's the Beach' contributor Tumbleweed sent me this link. It's a collection of Role Playing Game Motivational Posters.

Too bad for Tumbleweed. Come 2 September, after he exchanges vows, his gaming days are over. Welcome to the club my friend.

posted by El Capitan at 6:53 PM 1 comments

Sunday, July 23, 2006
Squadron Officer School

I drove down to Maxwell Air Force Base this weekend to start Squadron Officer School, otherwise known as "5 weeks of working my ass off in order to make Major."

Not sure what to expect, so wish me luck down here in 'Bama. So far the 100% humidity and 500 degrees isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I guess the nation of Qatar was indeed the most hot and humid place on earth I've ever been to. Southern Alabama isn't even close.

Here's just a sample of what I was told to avoid doing while in class. Obviously this happened before the term 'precision guided' came into play.

posted by El Capitan at 11:10 PM 8 comments

Thursday, July 20, 2006
Islam... The Religion of Peace?

I was going to write a post about how violent the 'Religion of Peace' was getting....

....But then I realized that we've got our own group of violent folks.

So I've decided just to stay out of this one for now.

posted by El Capitan at 11:43 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Duck!

A buddy of mine sent this video to me, so I thought it was YouTube worthy. It's my first YouTube entry, but I'm sure there are 20 million others who have uploaded the same clip.

I can't imagine a cooler pilot for scaring the guy, and a dumber fool for standing there.

Enjoy.

posted by El Capitan at 9:15 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, July 18, 2006
FBI Eyes Hezbollah

I'd be sweating too

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The FBI is trying to ferret out possible Hizbollah agents in the United States amid concerns that rising U.S.-Iranian tensions could trigger attacks on American soil, FBI officials said.

Message to the FBI - Get Some! Of course, be aware that there are those in our nation that consider your search for terror cells in the U.S. as bad for our country even though we were just warned by the leaders of Hezbollah in Iran that they can strike us.

Make sure you keep an eye on them to.

posted by El Capitan at 11:11 PM 0 comments

Know Any Other Good Ways To Piss Off The Muslim World?

United States to Israel: you have one more week to blast Hezbollah

This is what I call throwing in the kitchen sink. Yes, it is the right thing to do and it needs to be done, but it doesn't make things any easier for the Democratization of the Middle East.

I'm all for Israel defending themselves and destroying Hezbollah, and I'm all for supporting the people of Lebanon because they're stuck between a rock and a hard place. They didn't ask for this chaos.

So go kick some serious Hezbollah ass Israel. Just try to avoid leveling Lebanon while you're doing what you do.

posted by El Capitan at 10:40 PM 1 comments

The U.S. Marines: No Better Friend....

Hundreds of Americans evacuate Lebanon courtesy of the U.S Military.

posted by El Capitan at 3:21 PM 3 comments

Monday, July 17, 2006
This Is Why The Blogosphere Was Created

NZ Bear is Mapping Mideast Bloggers who are in the thick of things between Israel and Lebanon. Check it out, and see if you can support him in his mapping efforts by providing data or expertise. (H/T Malkin)

Click here for the live interactive site

posted by El Capitan at 3:58 PM 0 comments

The Army's New Counterinsurgency Field Manual

It's a long read (241 pages), but well worth it if you want to see how the U.S. Army is further adapting its tactics to fight an ever-changing enemy.

I'm assigning a short 5 page essay summarizing the new tactics, a list of recent battles that brought forth these new learned lessons, and how they're being integrated on the battle field.

Due on Friday, so get to work you slackers.

New Counterinsurgency Manual
Previous Counterinsurgency Manual

Other Sources for Consideration
Jane's
The U.S. Army Publishing Directorate
Sun Tzu's Art of War

posted by El Capitan at 11:06 AM 1 comments

Russian Peacekeepers are bad for business

Russia to Consider Mideast Peacekeepers

In graduate school I wrote approximately 200 pages on the history of Russian Peacekeepers, so I know a little about this issue.

In my honest opinion, sending Russian Peacekeepers into a war zone is like sending a team of homeless people into a Vegas buffet for crowd control. It just doesn't work. Never has, never will. It only makes the situation worse.

Not to forget that the UN/U.S. would be footing the bill for transportation and logistics to bring these Russian 'slaves' in and feed them. And yes, they are slaves who are politely called conscripts. These guys are the poorest of the poor Russians who were too 'uninfluential' to escape the mandatory draft. They are continuously underpaid (and mostly unpaid), poorly fed, de-humanized and severly under-trained.

Yet they'll be keeping the peace in the Middle East?

I like the idea of an international force to be used as peacekeepers between two nations at war, but I'm a little concerned about this 'war'. This is not a war between nations (yet). This is a war between Israel and religious-extremist-terror-organizations. The terrorists might not recognize the peacekeepers as peacekeepers. They'd be looked upon more as canon fodder than an effective deterrent.

Maybe that would be a good thing? The minute Hezbollah (Iran/Syria) opens up on some international peacekeepers the world might finally feel the slightest ounce of sympathy for Israel's plight. Then again if those peacekeepers are Russian, their method of fighting back would cause more civilian casualties than Israel and Hezbollah combined. Just look at every peacekeeping mission the Russians have ever volunteered for.

Other nations might do better. France (God forbid) has a diplomatic relationship with Hezbollah, so their troops might have a slight advantage walking the line between Lebanon and Israel. A French, German, and Spanish combination might deter the terrorist leaders in Syria and Iran from further acting out. I'd still love to see the Chinese out there with western nations. They'd be absolutely clueless, but at least it would give them a sense of responsibility in world affairs for once. It might also force Iran to stop or slow down its destabilizing activities. After all, they certainly will not want to bite the hand that feeds it arms and cash.

I agree that International Peacekeepers might help calm things down in the Middle East, but long term solutions are still needed to end the extremist/fascist take over of the region. Hopefully Europe will recognize the situation for what it really is and take actions to fix it before things really get out of hand.

posted by El Capitan at 9:14 AM 1 comments

At least he had a smile on his face...

Hooters Chairman Brooks Found Dead

He never reached true 'Hefner' status, but I'm hopeful his legacy will live on. I read that before his death he was working on acquiring the 'Chucky Cheese' franchise to make things a bit more interesting.

So sad. (H/T Ace)

posted by El Capitan at 9:10 AM 0 comments

Friday, July 14, 2006
A History of Israeli Conflicts

Things might be bad now, but today's situation is nothing different... and nothing worse, than previous Israeli-Arab conflicts. The biggest difference is that Israel is fighting against State-Sponsored Terror Organizations instead of fighting against Soviet-Sponsored States.

The 1948-49 War

The 1956 War (The Suez War)

The 1967 War (The Six-Day War)

The 1973-74 War (The Yom Kippur War)

The 1982 War (The Lebanon War)

posted by El Capitan at 9:20 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Drinks Drinks and More Good Drinks

About a third of all overseas blog traffic I receive originates from a picture of beers I posted over a year ago.

Why this is I have no idea, but I guess it's time to jump on the bandwagon and offer up a few more drinks to my international friends and alcohol-neglected brothers and sisters.

Cheers!

Oh, and to all my non-alcoholic brethren, the bottom drinks are all virgins.**

**(Just don't tell the Middle Eastern visitors... they can't tell the difference)

posted by El Capitan at 6:44 PM 2 comments

Time Off Before SOS Begins

'Whoa! I told you to knock first'

I'm trying to get ready for Squadron Officer School, which is coming up quicker than I thought. Between now and then I plan on taking some 'Personal Reflection Time', so forgive me for the light blogging.

posted by El Capitan at 4:18 PM 1 comments

Thank You, Women of the United States Air Force

Women Pilots Kick Ass... no doubt about it.

posted by El Capitan at 4:14 PM 2 comments

Pray for India

Seven explosions hit Bombay's commuter rail network Tuesday evening during rush hour, ripping apart train compartments, officials said. Indian television reported dozens may have been killed.

Chaos engulfed the crowded rail network in India's financial capital following the blasts, and authorities struggled to determine the number of casualties.

We all know who did this and why. Never forget... never give in, and never rest until their network is destroyed.

Pray for India

Update: I think Al Qaeda needs to review their calendar and try to be a little more politically correct when slaughtering innocent people.

U.S. - 9/11

Spain - 3/11

UK - 7/7

India....... 7/11

Not funny.

posted by El Capitan at 10:21 AM 0 comments

Monday, July 10, 2006
Viva Italia!

Or...

The French Lose Again!

I actually watched the last half of the World Cup, including the overtime periods and the final shoot out. Of course I had to root for Italy, my family's point of origin. It was amazingly entertaining and interesting. Similar to the NBA or NHL Finals, Soccer seems to get interesting when the trophy is on the line. Seems like the players worked a little harder.

Congratulations to Italy once again. It was great to see the better team win.

Oh, and as a friendly reminder....

On This Day In History, in 1943 Allied forces invaded Sicily to kick off the invasion of Italy/Europe in order to destroy Germany and retake France.

Ahhh, how times have changed.

posted by El Capitan at 8:38 AM 0 comments

Sunday, July 09, 2006
An Accident on the 'Son of Beast'

The 'Pucker Factor' just increased a hundred fold.

Got a call from my wife this afternoon telling me that while she was in line for the 'Son of Beast' ride, one of the best and fastest roller coasters in the world, the train returned into the station with several injured people. Apparently after the staff helped the injured off the train, they loaded the next train and sent another group of people on the ride, only to see that the next inbound train had even more injuries.

According to my wife, the ride staff repeatedly sent trains full of guinea pigs after they started receiving and off-loading injured passengers. At one point they informed the injured people getting off the ride to walk off of the platform and down the exit if they needed help so that the ride could continue operating.

One of the women had clearly broken some ribs while many others had neck and stomach problems from hitting the restraints, but the staff just kept sending train after train down the line while EMTs were struggling to listen to heartbeats and brace the victims.

King's Island, near Cincinnati, is one of the best amusement parks in the nation, so it's not surprising that Drudge linked the story to his site. Sadly the local news stations in the area are getting all of their information from the park, which is doing everything they can to downplay the incident. I have yet to see anything on the news about how poorly the injured were treated.

We've been faithful season pass holders to the park for 4 years, and 'Son of Beast' is, or was up until now, my favorite coaster in the nation. I feel terrible for the riders... or at least the first injured riders. I have no sympathy for the others that hopped in after seeing injured riders exit in front of them. They're just idiots.

Hopefully the park figures out what happened and, if they're to blame, makes amends with those that they hurt. If there's even a hint of a coverup they're going to lose a lot of business, including mine. They've already lost a faithful 'Son of Beast' fan.

I used to work on a vintage 1929 roller coaster years ago and I'm very familiar with wooden coasters, coaster safety, and how amusement parks deal with situations like this. This explains why I will be watching the park's actions closely to make sure they do this right.

I'd also hate to see a possible bone-headed mistake like this tarnish the image of these awesome rides. There's still no better ride than a wooden roller coaster.

posted by El Capitan at 9:22 PM 0 comments

Thursday, July 06, 2006
7/7 - One Year Later

Never Forget.....

posted by El Capitan at 11:50 PM 0 comments

Southpark vs. Tom Cruise - Round 2

Never a dull moment in life. Tom Cruise's least favorite 'South Park' episode is Up For an Emmy award. It's the episode Cruise had taken off of Comedy Central.

I'm sure Tom is calling his team of intergalactic lawyers to fight this.

"Chick's dig Scientology my friend. You've got to believe."

posted by El Capitan at 3:58 PM 0 comments

Dave at Garfield Ridge is at it again...

In his life-long commitment to hook up with Maria Sharapova, Dave at Garfield Ridge took to the court in a useless attempt at winning her over by displaying his unique 'racket and balls' techniques. Notice the speed meter behind him reads 95mph... that's the speed of the linebacker-sized security guards rushing up behind Dave just before they body slammed him to the ground.

Sadly, his 'racket' is now broken in twelve places.

King Kong Ain't Got Nothing On Me Baby!

This of course comes just days after he tried to impress Maria by showing her how many hot dogs he can swallow in ten minutes. This stunt obviously failed to woo Ms. Sharapova, but Dave did get a lot of fan mail from a guy offering him free buns for life.

"These are a lot bigger than the hot dogs they serve at the Neverland Ranch"

posted by El Capitan at 3:33 PM 0 comments

MissileThreat.Com - A Must Read

I've had The Clarmont Institute's MissileThreat.Com site linked forever, but it's even more interesting now that Kim Jon Il has been strutting his stuff lately.

There's a great section on Missile Attack Scenarios, with topics such as:

AEGIS Sea-Based Interception
Ballistic Missile Attack on Los Angeles
Chinese Attack on Russia
Ship-Based Attack on Hollywood
The Hoover Dam Scenario
The LA Scenario
The Prudhoe Bay Scenario

Check out the site, and spread the link around.

posted by El Capitan at 12:10 PM 0 comments

Whale Watchers Witness Whalers Whale a Whale

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

A group of tourists was inadvertently introduced to Norwegian hunting
practices during a whale-watching trip in the far north of the country.

As they were admiring one of the animals, a Norwegian whaling boat came
along and harpooned it.

Can you imagine? That would be like taking your kids to the forest to see a Deer, and while admiring the little bambi it gets mowed down by a hunter using a mini-gun.

Too funny. My favorite quote in the story was from a Dutch tourist.

"This really wasn't what we came to see."

No Shit Sherlock.

Burger King, Here I Come!

posted by El Capitan at 10:38 AM 0 comments

Raptor Porn

I could check this Bad Mamajama out all day long....

She'll shove an AmRam down your pie hole and still leave you with a smile.

posted by El Capitan at 10:28 AM 0 comments

How Many People Have You Saved Today?

Each foot on the side of this Air Force Medivac represents a 'save'.

Tech. Sgt. Mark De Corte is an aerospace evacuation technician with the 33rd Expeditionary Rescue Squadron in Kandahar, Afghanistan. The tan footprints on the HH-60 Pavehawk helicopter represent each of the saves the squadron has made. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Brian Ferguson)

posted by El Capitan at 10:23 AM 0 comments

Snack-down before the Smack-down

Bagram aircrews drop treats to Soldiers on fourth

The Soldiers and Airmen serving out in the remote FOBs (Forward Operating Bases) throughout Afghanistan get crap thrown at them every day from the Taliban, so I'm sure it was nice to get an airdrop full of snacks, good food, and music.

I'm 100% certain the aircrews also threw in a case of beer, some cigars, and a few bottles of Cuervo Gold.

I'm also aware that after dropping the pallets off at the FOBs, the aircraft flew over the known Taliban villages and dropped dozens of inflatable sheep and Maxim magazines.

Sort of a final gesture of kindness before we kick their asses.

posted by El Capitan at 10:14 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 05, 2006
North Korean Performance Anxiety

Mr. Kim Jong Il, a self-proclaimed film buff, re-enacted the American Pie 'Trig-Boy' scene yesterday when he failed to 'get it up' a whopping 7 times while the world watched live on the internet. (The Russians claim they tracked 10 launches, and one landed near their side of the fence)

The best part is that Kim Jong assumed we were going to shoot his Taepodong-2 down, so he launched a gaggle of scuds to 'throw us off.' He really thought that the scuds would confuse our tracking systems, clearly showing his underestimation of the capabilities of American radar systems. We only built those systems 40 years ago to detect a thousand simultaneous ICMB launches from the shoe-pounders in Mother Russia.

So what now? Kim Jong has clearly pissed off Japan, Russia, and South Korea. Our reaction is just slightly calmer than China's complete silence on the issue. I think the U.S. is going to sit this one out at the U.N. and let North Korea's neighbors pound their own shoes/sandles/heads on the security council podium. If we lead the charge we would simply get Mr. Anan's 'talk to the hand you war monger' reaction, whereas if the locals complain to the council they'll actually get some sort of response. (Most likely a strongly worded letter to Kim Jong expressing the U.N.'s displeasure, and threatening a follow-up letter if he repeats the offense)

Ironically, NASA will be publishing a photo of the 7 astronauts laughing hysterically after watching North Korea's splash-a-thon from low-earth orbit yesterday. After all, they were able to get things up much higher than Kim Jong on the 4th of July, and two of them are women. They could throw a tool box down Kim's palace and it would be more accurate than his Taepodong-2 will ever be.

"Herro. I'm Kim Jong Il, and I can't get it up. Rike many of you I suffer from ICBM performance disorder because, as the reader of North Korea, it's ronery at the top.

posted by El Capitan at 10:48 AM 3 comments

Santa Cruz, California - Burning flags because they're bored

My old home town where I was raised has always teetered on the edge of sanity. Now, instead of teetering on the edge, it's doing a full-on swan dive into the abyss.

Flags burn in celebration

About 25 revelers celebrated their freedom of speech and welcomed the Fourth of July on Monday night with the "2nd Annual Old Time American Flag Burn."
Around a burn barrel at Seabright State Beach, organizer Brent Adams, 41, of Santa Cruz, declared flag burning not a protest, but a celebration of the Constitution's First Amendment. "It seemed like a good idea to burn some flags just because we can," added fellow organizer Sha Lar, 32, of Santa Cruz.

It's very sad that such a beautiful place is so 'reality challenged.' Like Paris France, Santa Cruz is also the best example as to why we invented the neutron bomb.

Crap! I forgot about these signs all around town. I guess we can't use a neutron bomb. Damn you all!

posted by El Capitan at 9:48 AM 4 comments

Monday, July 03, 2006
Been there... done that

Surgeons have the technology to make bionic man a reality

I really hate to break their hearts, but we've had a bionic man living in the U.S. for over 50 years now.

Feared by the Viet Cong and Cattle Rustlers, loved by pets.

posted by El Capitan at 11:12 AM 3 comments

And The Rockets Red Glare....

NORAD air bases on heightened alert

There are certain fireworks I'd rather not see on the 4th of July.

posted by El Capitan at 10:56 AM 0 comments