Dude, where's the beach?

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Our Troops are A-Holes.... Oh, and I Served in Vietnam.

If you don't educate yourself... If you don't go to an elite college and marry a filthy rich widow like I did, then you're nothing but a low-life, good for nothing, scum sucking piece of shite who will end up in Iraq...... because of George Bush of course.

Oh, and I Served in Vietnaaahhhm.

(Tony Snow at today's press briefing) "If you'd like to hear what the President thinks about John Kerry's latest trashing of our young men and women serving in the military, here's his response. (Pulls eyeballs out of his pocket) Just after Senator Kerry walked off the stage, the President challeged him to a duel. John Kerry lost. Here's what's left of the Senator who, if you didn't know, served in Vietnaahhhm." (Snow starts jiggling the eyeballs around)

posted by El Capitan at 4:36 PM 1 comments

Happy Birthday Trevi

My little Angel was born 4 years ago today. Had her party on Saturday, but the real party starts tonight when we all get to walk together, going door to door for treats.

Four years ago, about 10 hours after she was born, I took some time away from my wife to go walk the other kids around the neighborhood so they wouldn't miss out on their candy. Of course I brought them all up into the maternity ward in costume to meet their new little sister first. What we didn't know then was that my wife, their mom, was near death. Something had gone wrong during labor that nearly killed her. After I took the other kids back home I returned to the hospital to see if her condition had improved. It was then that we really knew something was going on.

Doctor after doctor came in to investigate throughout the day, and each of them agreed with the previous one... let's wait until tomorrow to see if she's improved. Had it not been for one nurse, an Air Force Captain, my wife would have died that night. That one nurse stayed with my wife all day, fighting for opinion after opinion from countless doctors because she knew something wasn't right. When I returned from Trick-or-Treating that night I sat with my wife and watched this nurse through the window yelling at a doctor outside of the delivery room. She wouldn't give up on her.

Finally the staff surgeon was called in and did his own round of testing. He too was about to walk away until he decided to do a simple blood count check... something so simple every other supposedly educated buffoon who came into the room that day never did. When the doctor looked at the results his eyes grew big.... and things started to happen.

I don't remember much that night. I had been up for two days by then. What I do remember is a team of folks rushing in to quickly pump multiple pints of blood into my wife's body as another team prepped her for surgery. After they wheeled her off I sat in the maternity room with my newborn daughter, scared and exhausted. She was my first baby, and I didn't even know how to hold her properly let alone raise her and the other children by myself if my wife were to die that night.

A couple hours later a surgeon walked in and talked to me. I don't remember the conversation... only the look on his face. He was worried, but reassuring. He left to go continue saving my wife. The next morning... the next day, they watched my wife closely. She pulled through, but it took a lot of work to saver her. She would have died had it not been for the Captain who wouldn't give up until the right doctor was there to recognize what was going on.

Later in the day that Captain came in to see how my wife was doing. She had left the hospital before my wife was rushed in for surgery the previous night, so she wasn't aware of what had happened. When I told her what happened and what procedures they had to do in order to save her life, the Captain... this guardian angel, broke down in tears. She just kept apologizing over and over again for not doing more. I let her know that she saved my wife's life, and I thanked her for not giving up on us. She was still shocked and crying when she walked away, but I think she understood that no matter what happened, my wife was alive because of her.

Four years ago today my wife almost became one of the 1 in 10,000 women in the U.S. who die during child birth. Thankfully she's here to celebrate the birthday of our little pumpkin, Trevianna Isabella... my little Trevi.

We have two lives to celebrate on Halloween day.

posted by El Capitan at 9:28 AM 2 comments

Thursday, October 26, 2006
New Russian ICBM Fails Again....

The Russians just can't seem to get 'em up these days.

New York Times
October 26, 2006
Russia: Sea-Launched Missile Test Fails
By Andrew E. Kramer

"The navy confirmed that a test of Russia's new submarine-launched intercontinental ballistic missile, the Bulava, failed when it veered off course, exploded and fell into the sea. A similar test last month also failed. The military maintains that the new weapon can evade missile defense systems."

The best part about this story is that the Russians are right about being able to evade a missile defense system. Their new Bulava missile simply falls out of the sky, fooling any missile shield out there.

Brilliantt strategy. Whatever happened to all of Russia's great rocket scientists again? That's right, they all fled to the West or died because of the poor health care they had while living under Communist rule.

I guess Universal Healthcare has saved us once again.

posted by El Capitan at 3:02 PM 2 comments

Iraqi Freedom vs. World War II

A reporter asked President Bush yesterday if he was concerned that the war in Iraq was taking longer to win than the U.S. took to fight World War II.

This was one of the many moments in my life I wish I could answer for the President. Had I been behind the podium I would have said:

"Sir, do you know the difference between 'Total' and 'Limited' warfare? World War II was a 'Total War', whereas every military asset, national industry, and resource was focused on fighting and winning the war. Iraq is not a 'Total War,' it is a 'Limited War'."

"Now, if you in the Press wouldn't mind us waging a 'Total War' in Iraq, just let me know. If you promise me you won't whine and complain about civilian casualties and environmental fallout, I'll order 100 bombers from the U.S. Air Force to fire-bomb every major city in Iraq. If that doesn't stop the flow of arms and terrorists from Iran and Syria, I'll nuke their capital cities."

"Until you give me the green light to turn the Middle East into glass and bring our troops home, sit down, shut up, and let me fight this 'Limited War' the way it needs to be fought."

Of course when the reporter stands to ask a follow-up, I'll throw my shoe at him and tell him to sit down.

Next Question?

posted by El Capitan at 9:33 AM 5 comments

Wednesday, October 25, 2006
General Ham on the Stryker in Iraq

An excellent article linked by Michael Yon, it details the Stryker's outstanding combat experiences so far.

"The other thing that we didn't really recognize until Samara was how
quiet the vehicle was. And in Samara they - the people started to talk
about the 'ghost soldiers' because the vehicle was so fast, so quiet, and
moved at night, often undetected, and then suddenly there would be an
overwhelming infantry strength they have to fight."

Drove over 3,050,000 miles
Average mileage per Stryker over the deployment was about
10,100 miles; about 842 miles/month per vehicle
OR rate over 330 days of combat operations was 94.66%
Withstood dozens of attacks
23 RPG
62 IED
5 Mortar
1 Mine
VCIED (car bombs)
2 Grenade
25 SAF (Small Arms Fire)

"So what does that leave us with? Well, I think that leaves us with - after
two years - two plus years in combat, as I look back and say, "Okay, how
did we do on meeting General Shinseki's vision?" Well, I think what we
have is we have created for our Army an extraordinarily capable current
tactical force. A force that has proven itself in close combat, in urban
combat, has demonstrated its ability to move long distances very, very
quickly, very organized, and be ready to fight when they arrive."

Now if only these things could fly, the Army would be even cooler. Then again, I guess that's why God created the A-10 Warthog.

posted by El Capitan at 8:58 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Is the Kennedy KGB Letter For Real?

Did Ted Kennedy really offer up our nation to the Soviets in 1983? If so, is it punishable?

If it's true, it's eff'd up. Not surprising from Kennedy, but still not right.

posted by El Capitan at 9:20 AM 1 comments

Police hunt train defecator

Imagine... he's caused thousands of pounds of damage. That's a lot of Taco Bell bean burritos.

"Transport police are hunting for an "exceptionally antisocial" man who has been defecating on trains across the country, causing tens of thousands of pounds-worth of damage.

The vandal, who strikes by smearing excrement inside the carriages, appears to wait until he is alone before committing the offence but investigators can discern no other pattern to his behaviour. Police say the man has soiled at least 30 trains since August, mainly in the south-east."

This almost sounds like what I do for my day job.

posted by El Capitan at 9:16 AM 0 comments

Friday, October 20, 2006
Chief Gebhardt... Making a Difference

"Air Force Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt, of the 332nd Expeditionary Medical Group at Balad, Iraq, cradles a young girl as they both sleep in the hospital. The girl's entire family was executed by insurgents; the killers shot her in the head as well. The girl received treatment at the U.S. military hospital in Balad, but cries and moans often. According to nurses at the facility, Gebhardt is the only one who can calm the girl, so he has spent the last several nights holding her while they both sleep in a chair."

Chief Gebhardt exemplifies the new Air Force motto 'Do Something Amazing'.

posted by El Capitan at 1:20 PM 4 comments

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Well We're Moving On Up...(Moving On Up) To The East Side!

Moving on up indeed, which means I'm going to be busier than ever. Friday I was interviewed (without knowing) for a highly visible, highly busy, and highly necessary Wing-level position. It's a huge step up, and it might even help me make the connections I need to set up my next PCS overseas come this summer. It'll definitely help me get promoted next year if I don't screw it all up. I'd like to make Major on time. Then again, if I really mess up I'll end up being a 'slick sleave' running a sewage truck in Kuwait.

Always a brides maid, never a bride.

posted by El Capitan at 7:40 AM 5 comments

Sunday, October 15, 2006
Australia, Part 5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Back on PCH driving North. Going from New South Wales to Queesnland (States in Australia) the climate begins turning tropical, hence all the sugar cane and pineapple groves along the way.

Other than driving on the wrong side of the road, Aussie drivers and their cars are similar to what we have here in the U.S. There were some exceptions, namely these 'Utes', short for utility vehicles... what we call trucks. Both Ford and GM (Holden in Australia) make these things, and I have no idea why they don't sell them in the US. They'd be huge out here.

The view from our hotel in Coolangatta, Queensland, which is about 20K south of Surfer's Paradise, but much cheaper less crowded to stay at.

More to come...

posted by El Capitan at 11:21 AM 1 comments

Australia, Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

A quick backtrack to some of the businesses we spotted in New Castle. It's almost like a mini-San Francisco, with only about 10% of San Fran's 'scary' stuff. Everything else there was very easy going and relaxing, almost like the Central Coast of California.

Now, back on the road North to Coff's, Surfer's Paradise, and Brisbane. It was always funny driving up and down Australia's Pacific Coast Highway, something I'd done all my life in California. The difference is that their PCH is on the East Coast.

Waking up to the sunset in Coff's Harbour. Below, waking up to this giant lizard outside of our hotel. They supposedly take care of La Cucarachas (Cockroaches).

More to come...

posted by El Capitan at 11:06 AM 0 comments

Australia, Part 3

Part 1, Part 2

After leaving Sydney we headed to New Castle, about 100 Kilmometers north. Little did I know that it's the biggest Coal exporting harbor in the world, which explained all of the environmental and socialist organizations that had offices throughout the city. I happened to think it was a beautiful place. While the women shopped I headed east to Royal Australia Air Force base at Williamtown to meet a US Air Force Airman stationed there. I can't think of a better place to be stationed overseas. They fly F-18s and some SAABs, and I was able to watch some great Air to Ground exercises, but talking to the locals I could tell they didn't like the base too much. Too loud and expensive according to the market owner I met who was yelling over the sound of jet engines (The Sound of Freedom Baby!) flying overhead.

After New Castle we continued North to Coff's Harbour, another stop along the way to Brisbane. Of course Coff's is home to the 'Big Banana'!

After Coff's Harbour, we were off to Surfer's Paradise.

posted by El Capitan at 10:35 AM 0 comments

Australia, Part 2

Link to Part I if you missed it.

As I mentioned before, the day we arrived in Sydney a few of us went up a block to the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb office and got some tickets. Although I've done the climb before, I can't express to you how great it really is. Worth every penny. The photo below is from their website on a night climb. I prefer the day climb for the view, but you still can't beat that skyline.

Sydney has about 4.2 million people, but it doesn't seem like it when you walk through the city. Sure it's busy, but it's not insanely busy like NYC.

My Step-Son Matt kept pushing his luck with the Sydney Fuzz using his Cartman 'You must respect my authoritay!' impression. Below are some great shots my brother-in-law took. Of course none of us knew his date-stamp was on and showing the wrong date, but it's nothing a little photoshopping can't fix. I think he took the best shots throughout the trip.

You can't beat the Old Sydney Holiday Inn down in the 'Rocks' section of town. Since we stayed in the 'off season' and used a lot of our Priority Club points, it was almost free.

posted by El Capitan at 9:41 AM 1 comments

Friday, October 13, 2006
We're On A Mission From God

I believe in these difficult and mean-spirited times in which we live there needs to be a message of hope. Just a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace and joy.

An image that suggests the universal brotherhood of man.

I have found that image, and I ask that all of you take a moment to be inspired by it.

Sometimes the message doesn't get any clearer than this....

posted by El Capitan at 9:56 AM 2 comments

Thursday, October 12, 2006
Alec Baldwin: President - F.ilm A.ctors G.uild

I just couldn't resist. What a bafoon.

Damn it Ossifer, I'm a Baldwin. Let me by or I'll treat you like my ex.

There is a reason Matt Stone and Trey Parker portrayed Alec Baldwin (Arec Bardwin) as an Ass in Team America. They were trying to be accurate.

posted by El Capitan at 12:43 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Australia, Part 1

Sunrise over the South Pacific, enroute to Sydney. It was a 20 min flight from Dayton to Cinci, 4 hours to Los Angeles, and 13.5 hours to Australia. My brother in law and I about lost it when our 747-400 took every inch of the runway for departure from LAX. I was certain we were going in the drink off the end of the runway. We were fully loaded with fuel, bags, and passengers. I still don't understand how the 747's wings can flex so much without snapping off.

Once we checked into Holiday Inn Old Sydney, we headed up to the rooftop to take in the view. We stayed in 'The Rocks' section of Sydney, the oldest part of the city. The water inlet you see on this side of the Opera House was the spot the first colonists landed in Australia. It's their Plymouth Rock. Of course 100 of them were Marines, and 1000 of them were prisoners. At least they got the job done.

About a ten minute walk from the hotel and we're in the middle of the most beautiful harbor in the world.

Four of us climbed the Sydney Harbor Bridge the day we arrived. It's a 3 hour excursion from start to finish, and worth every penny. If you look closely you can see a Bridge Climb group standing at the very top near the flag pole.

Couldn't resist. We say bumps, they say humps. We say hood, they say bonnet. We say windscreen, they say windshield. They say boot, we say trunk. They have efficient roundabouts, we still have stop signs and traffic signals every 5 feet in the US. I love roundabouts... especially when you can keep driving in circles to make everyone in the car sick.

More to come....

posted by El Capitan at 10:11 AM 2 comments

Sunday, October 08, 2006
I Shall Return...

Looking East to the Pacific Ocean, New Castle Australia. Headed home tomorrow.

posted by El Capitan at 9:33 AM 5 comments