Tuesday, December 26, 2006
When Air Force Academy Cadets Screw Up....
***UPDATE Below***
It's all of our jobs to make sure their mistakes are amplified across the internet. I've seen some pretty stupid letters come from Academy Cadets who think they are already God's gift to the Air Force, and the best of the letters usually get spread around the Air Force global email network just to remind us all as to who the next leaders are.
The following letter isn't the best one I've seen, but it is a good example. The BEST was when a Cadet emailed a worthless gripe letter directly to the Secretary of the Air Force, James Roche, back in 2001. I think almost every member of the Air Force got to respond to that one.
This one is titled "Cadet request for F-15 ride"
Lt. Smith,
I am a cadet at the Air Force Academy trying to arrange a flight with the 333rd Fighter Wing between 21 December and 5 January. I have my Secret Clearance and Physiological Training Card and can coordinate any AOC approval or necessary medical clearance (Form 1042). My presence does not impose any limitations on the mission; I'm just along for the ride.
Any further guidance or authorization you can provide on this matter is much appreciated. Email is the best way to contact me (########), but my cell phone number is #######.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Very Respectfully,
C3C George R. ####### IV
United States Air Force Academy
Now, the best part of letters like these are the responses. Here is the direct response from a Major to this Cadet. It's priceless.
From: Maj T#####
Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2006 6:09 PM
To: S####### George R IV
Cc: ...
Subject: RE: Cadet request for F-15 ride
You've got some brass balls on you, cadet fourth class George S#### HIV (seriously...is that your real name, lose that 'IV' crap, it just sounds stupid). Let's break down your message and maybe we can educate you on a thing or two.
"I'm a cadet at the Air Force Academy."
This message should be over right here. Period dot. Cadets don't troll for rides, they EARN them through the proper channels just like everybody else. We've got a long list of maintainers who have earned awards through this wing to get incentive rides. These guys bust their asses in the freezing cold and blistering heat and only the lucky few get the privilege of having a ride. Name me three things you think you've done to 'earn' a Strike Eagle ride. Seriously. And by the way, I've read about all the 'hard work' here - http://www.########.blogspot.com/.
And I quote "The learning curve was very steep this past year as I learned about military culture and doctrine in a pretty stressful environment." Brother, you have no idea what a stressful environment is.
"trying to arrange a flight with the 333rd Fighter Wing"
Sweet mother of pearl, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. We are the 333rd Fighter Squadron, and we are a division of the 4th Fighter Wing. If you want to snivel a ride from us, you ought to at least get your facts straight. This is the foreshadowing of your ignorance, let's continue....
"I have my Secret Clearance"
Your secret clearance doesn't mean f*** all to us. You think we're going to take you up on a tactical sortie? You think we're going to let you sit in on classified briefings? You think we're going to hang out and talk tactics with you? YGBFSM.
"and Physiological Training Card"
Your physiological training card doesn't mean f*** all to us. Remember all those hard working maintainers I mentioned earlier? Not one of them has a physiological training card - don't try to impress us with that crap.
"and can coordinate any AOC approval"
Last time I checked, the AOC didn't run the flying schedule of the 4th FW or coordination of our incentive flights. Apparently you're not familiar with chain of command and proper channels. Let me tell you what this does NOT consist of; it does NOT consist of going VFR direct to the 333rd Fighter Squadron scheduling shop and bothering our hard working schedulers. This consists of you talking to your commander, your commander talking to our commander, somebody in between giving the approval, and then in the middle of your pipe dream you will be denied your flight.
"My presence does not impose any limitations on the mission; I'm just along
for the ride."
You couldn't be more wrong. What exactly is it you think we do here? Do you know anything about the F-15E? Do you know anything about Seymour Johnson? Do you know anything about the 333rd? Since it would seem the answer to all of the above is a blatant 'No', I'll clue you in. In the F-15E, while we do have two seats, the second seat is not an empty seat that only gets occupied when goobs like yourself call up looking for a ride. It's a seat for qualified aircrew - we call them Weapon System Officers. He is an essential part of our mission and we don't give him the boot for guys who are looking to bum a ride. Also, the 333rd is a Formal Training Unit. That means that we train young pilots and WSOs, so to give you a ride, we would either have to boot a student WSO in aforementioned formal course, or an instructor WSO trying to teach said student WSO. Get the picture?
"Any further guidance or authorization you can provide on this matter is
much appreciated."
...and I'm spent - Hopefully this will serve as all the guidance you need. Gents, if there is something I have left out of this mentoring session with young cadet third class citizen S####### the HIV, please feel free to chime in.
Maj T#####
It's stuff like this that makes trudging through email worth it. Thanks to 'Tumbleweed' for sending this my way. Would have been a tragedy to miss this one.
UPDATE: From Tumbleweed:
I heard from a fairly reliable source that Maj T**** from the 333rd FS did
indeed get in some hot water for an unprofessional response to Cadet
S***** IV. The Commandant of Cadets at USAFA got wind of this incident
and placed a call to the wing commander out at Seymour-Johnson. The ball
rolled downhill and the major got in trouble. The highlight of this fiasco
is that the cadet is getting his F-15E ride.
Amazing what some whining can do huh? Now here's another question. Just
what kind of ride is the cadet going to be getting? Are they gonna put him
through the wringer? Or will it be a straight and level sleep inducer?
posted by El Capitan at 9:27 AM
10 Comments:
said...
Bet he's cowering in that hole he dug for himself! Priceless!
10:48 AM said...
Oh, I love how you all do smackdowns!
Reality - 1
Delusional fantasy - 0
(okay, the waves suck...)~;o)
El Capitan said...
YankeeMom,
Even on the suckiest days of waves, I'd still rather drag the wife and kids out there than walk around in this sleet here in Ohio.
Thank you for contributing to my delusional world. You've managed to take a few bricks out of the wall ;o)
said...
That is quite impressive. I take it the cadet didn't get his ride, huh?
:)
Unknown said...
A few years back I was in Tampa hanging out with my cousin (then a captain in the Army) and his Air Force friend (also a captain); both were analysts at CENTCOM. Neither of them are academy grads, and they referred to those who were as "ring bangers". They laughed at me when I told my stories about how many times I tried to get into an academy.
2:36 PM said...
I love seeing pompous jerks get smacked down -- but my BS meter started ticking on this one...can anyone prove this exchange...?
8:15 PM said...
true or not, i hope the dumb s.o.b. didn´t get his commision. as the weasel would say - YGBSM
6:32 AM El Capitan said...
I can prove the exchange because I have the original emails, senders, names, addresses, etc. This stuff happens all the time with Academy Cadets, so we usually get the emails forwarded throughout the Air Force.
The best one I mentioned before about the Cadet emailing the SECAF, it had the CSAF's comments and email address forward, CSAF's, and everyone else who commented or forwarded the mail.
Trust me, the Air Force isn't creative enough to make this stuff up. We have enough geeks who do it for real.
said...
You are all fools.
"I don't think he got his ride"
"Oh he got smacked down"
"When cadets mess up"
A. This cadet was not out of line, most bases enjoy giving cadets incentive rides...cough cough... Luke AFB.
B. The cadet will be getting commissioned this year...As for the Major, he lost his commission and will be lucky if he ever gets a job again.
C. The superintendent of the air force academy... a 3 star general spoke with the wing commander of that base and the wing commander personally called Cadet George XXXXX and invited him to fly with the wing anytime.
The cadet def. trumped in this one. A major like that never deserved a commission in the first place.
said...
Whatever, I know him. He didn't lose his commission. He's a Lt. Col. now. He got in some trouble--a lot of trouble, but it didn't slow down his career.
12:15 AM