Friday, June 30, 2006
Study: Money Does Not Buy Much Happiness

Sure, it may not buy much happiness, but it certainly does open up a lot of doors that would have otherwise been closed.

Example 1

''I know what I'd do with a million dollars''

Example 2 - Wheels

Example 3 - Bling

Pimp Cups... Collect them all!!

Example 4 - Charity

I would feed them, educate them, and then teach all the world's children how to surf

posted by El Capitan at 11:59 AM 0 comments

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I get by with a little help from my friends...

posted by El Capitan at 12:15 AM 1 comments

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Thursday, June 29, 2006
Operation removes lightbulb from anus

I kid you not....

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan."

Not sure which is more funny. The fact that they had to take it out intact, or that he claims he 'doesn't know' how it got up in there.

..."So Timmy, have you ever been in a Pakistani prison?"

posted by El Capitan at 4:22 PM 0 comments

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Coincidence?

An observation from The Drudge Report this afternoon:

If Meryl Streep based her 'Devil' character on men, yet she's almost a mirror image of Hillary Clinton (who's photo just happened to be above Streep's), what does that say about the honorable senator from New York?

She just may be more cut out for President than we previously thought.

More intriguing... what does it say about Bill's battle with alcoholism. I can't imagine what it would be like to wear beer goggles for over 30 years.

posted by El Capitan at 1:12 PM 1 comments

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Progress in Iraq

Here's the 23 June 2006 news release listing all of the latest progress achieved through USAID in Iraq. Here's the USAID Assistance for Iraq site if you'd like to see just how much progress has been made since March 2003.

I'm still looking for the word 'Quagmire' on the site, but it's been hard to find since I have to sift through so much crap about improved health care, better schools, safe water, cleaner environment, strong democratic inistitutions, and a booming economy.

Damn Bush. It's all his fault.

posted by El Capitan at 12:59 PM 1 comments

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Dr. Evil Night School, Class of 1978

And yes, they succeeded.

posted by El Capitan at 12:46 PM 2 comments

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LGF's Caption Contest

Little Green Footballs has an amusing caption contest. (H/T Ace) Here are a few of the better captions so far.

- I wish I could quit you.
- Let's be frank with each other. You be Frank tonight, I'll be Frank tomorrow might.
- How many times must I explain it? This is my pistol, and this is my gun!
- You got the scholarship to Yale?
- Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering...?
- Tell me, what are the fellas really like at Gitmo?
- Psst...I've got Streisand tickets!
- My goat doesn't understand me.
- Future Darwin Award Winners

posted by El Capitan at 12:15 PM 0 comments

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I Hope They're Using Protection...

'England's massive army of World Cup fans is drinking Germany dry'...

'Nough said

posted by El Capitan at 11:58 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Clowns Sabotage Nuke Missile Silo

This is a love-hate story that warms the heart.

'On Tuesday morning, a retired Catholic priest and two veterans put on clown suits, busted into a nuclear missile launch facility, and began beating the silo cover with hammers, in an attempt to take the Minuteman III missile off-line. Seriously.'

I hate the fact that these 'mentally challenged' individuals made it as far as the silo cover and were able to hit it with a sledge hammer. Yes, the cover is made to withstand an indirect nuclear detonation, but still, these guys tainted it with their face-paint sweat and hammers.

I love the fact that once the Air Force Security Forces arrived on the scene, the activist ass-clowns "ate a lot of gravel." In other words, their heads hit the ground fast and hard once the police dogs were chewing on their over-sized shoes and the M-16s were up against their bright red noses and wigs.

I always miss the fun.

posted by El Capitan at 4:39 PM 0 comments

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Huge Asteroid to Fly Past Earth on 3 July

Heads Up!

"An asteroid possibly as large as a half-mile or more in diameter is rapidly approaching the Earth. There is no need for concern, for no collision is in the offing, but the space rock will make an exceptionally close approach to our planet early on Monday, July 3, passing just beyond the Moon's average distance from Earth."

Anyone remember the movie Independence Day, and how the 'friendly uninvited guest migrants from another planet' arrived on 3 July? Another coincidence... the President in the movie was a former fighter pilot.

Holy Crap. Someone go call Will Smith.

Harry: "Surely they don't think we're real pilots?"

Will: "We may not be pilots, but we sure make these flight suits look good. And don't call me Shirley."

posted by El Capitan at 4:03 PM 0 comments

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WMDs In Iraq - OPFOR's take

If you haven't been to OPFOR's site lately, go take a gander. They're always right on top of what's happening in the US Military.

As for their post on WMDs in Iraq and the fact that this monumental headline has been all but igored, they explained the situation better than anyone else so far. It's all mind tricks.

"These aren't the WMDs you're looking for.... move along"

Good Site. Now if I can just get off my keister and update my links.

posted by El Capitan at 3:50 PM 0 comments

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Monday, June 26, 2006
Another Sign of the Apocalypse - Rampaging Transvestite Gangs

Where's Sam Kinison when you need him? Can you imagine being robbed by a gang of thugs wearing pumps and singing show tunes?

The transvestites first appeared in March when they raided Magazine Street like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, said Davis, using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.

They first hit Vegas March 31 while Ogle was working. "They come in groups of three or four. One tries to distract you while the others get the stuff and run out the door. It's very simple," Ogle said.

Next door at Winky's, Bonga heard people screaming inside Vegas, then saw a blur of cheap wigs and masculine legs in designer shoes streak past her door.

"All of a sudden our UPS guy dove out of the store and tried to tackle them and there's little Eric from next door on the sidewalk with a bunch of stuff he managed to grab from one of the guys," Bonga said. "The other two guys took off down the street and jumped into a car driven by a real girl."

Can't you smell the irony mixed with cheap perfume and old spice?

Another Classic is born! Patrick Swayze, desperate for money, stars in 'To Wong Foo's Roadhouse'

posted by El Capitan at 4:47 PM 0 comments

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Saddam and Al Qaeda and WMD... Oh My!

I guess the administration's argument that Saddam did have ties to Al Qaeda and that he did possess WMDs that should have been destroyed according to his cease-fire agreement with the United Nations in 1991 was entirely....... true.

Saddam Regime a Broker for Terror Alliances

Hundreds of WMDs Found

Why is it that all I hear right now are crickets chirping? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

posted by El Capitan at 4:10 PM 1 comments

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North Korean Skeet Shooting **

I've been patiently listening to all three sides of the North Korean Missile Test argument. Patiently because two of the arguments are just plain stupid even thought they're being spewed out by members of our government. (Why does that really surprise me?)

The first stupid idea is to let them launch and then continue negotiating with Kim Jong. It's just a missile test, it's no big deal and they have the right to do it.

- They may have a right to test a missile, but when they launch it over a nation that we've sworn to defend, and it travels in the direction of our West Coast, (which we've also sworn to sort of defend... I guess) that is not a test. It's an act of aggression. To do nothing is what we used to do in the 1990s, which is why Osama proclaimed the U.S. as a 'Paper Tiger.' Anyone who thinks that we should do nothing should go stand in the bottom of a hole out in Shanksville, PA and ponder that really stupid suggestion. I would have recommended NYC's Gound Zero, but that hole is filled with a bunch of contractors and city politicians standing around waiting for someone to tell them what to build... still.

The second stupid idea is to pre-empt the missile launch and destroy it while it's on the ground. After all, our national security policy is to pre-empt, so why not North Korea?

- To launch a pre-emptive strike on North Korea over a missile test is like karate kicking a hive of killer bees. Sure, you're going to make a point, but you're also going to stir up something you can't stop... a can of North Korean Whoop-Ass also known as a retaliatory strike on South Korea. Remember, they've got 200,000+ troops on the DMZ, whereas we've got maybe 7,000 right there on the boarder. It wouldn't be pretty. A pre-emptive strike over a missile test is overkill. To suggest it only shows a lack of understanding of how the world really works, and how the U.S. became the sole superpower on the block.

The third, and probably best, argument is to use the missile launch to our advantage. Tell North Korea that we're not happy with their upcoming test, and warn them that it won't be looked upon as a peaceful act... then wait. If they launch, we immediately fire every missile defense system at it that we've got.. Whether from an Aegis Cruiser or the Missile Shield silos up in Alaska, shoot at and kill the incoming ballistic missile... and kill it good. After all, we informed them that their launch would be viewed as an act of aggression, so we defended ourselves. You do not launch over our allies that you've threatened for 50 years, and you do not launch in our direction after we've warned you not to.

Of course if we miss we'll be caught with our pants down, so DON'T FREAK'N MISS!

Either way, this is the 21st Century in a Post-9/11 world, so everything matters and everything is on the table. In this world, if you strap a pair on be prepared to have them cut right back off.

** Title Courtesy of Uncle Jimbo at BlackFive.Com, who's got a similar viewpoint on the matter.

posted by El Capitan at 1:57 PM 0 comments

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The Shit IS About To Hit The Fan.....

I just don't see any other way around it. It's going to hit the fan, and it's going to be messy.

Israel 'will ensure Hamas govt toppled' if soldier slain

Israeli Troops Mass At Boarder

posted by El Capitan at 1:01 PM 0 comments

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B-1B No-Gear Landing - The Report Is Out

I've been sitting on this very pathetic yet entertaining story for a couple of months, but now that the photos and report are circulating around I can finally talk about it.

About two months ago the Air Force had a very critical and very expensive B-1B Bomber conduct a perfect no-gear landing out at Diego Garcia, an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The crew was inbound from Guam, about to complete their nearly 11 hour flight when the incident occurred.

The only thing more amazing than this perfect belly landing and slide down the centerline was the fact that the Pilot and Copilot did it on accident. Due to a failure in CRM (Crew Resource Management) and obvious fatigue, the Major and 1Lt. were too distracted with the little stuff to notice that neither of them had pulled that bright flashing little lever located right between them. This is '1st day of pilot training' sort of stuff, yet these guys screwed up big time.

The Air Traffic Controllers also were at fault because they should have been watching the bomber on final to visually check for landing lights. Hopefully they get a little slap up side the head too.

Yes, accidents happen and people make mistakes, so I won't be too hard on these guys since no lives were lost. If they really are good pilots they should have ripped the wings off their flight suits after climbing out of the top hatch of the cockpit and handed them to the on-scene Commander. Then they should have walked directly to the finance office and started a direct withdrawal from their monthly salary to help pay for the 4 engines they just grinded down over 7,000 feet of the runway.

Either way, I'm sure the Air Force can find two cubicles for these guys to fill for the next 20 years.

posted by El Capitan at 10:53 AM 0 comments

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Why We Choose to Fight Terror...

...as opposed to just rolling over and letting the terrorists have their way like we did in the 1990s, just go here and watch to find out. It's the link to Michelle Malkin's site which has the link to the beheading of the Russian Embassy worker.

I personally don't need to watch because I've seen enough to motivate me for a lifetime.

This is why we fight on
This is why we won't give in
This is why we won't cut and run
This is why we will continue to re-enlist in record numbers
This is why we choose peace over war, but we're still willing to fight for that peace.

posted by El Capitan at 10:40 AM 0 comments

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Back in the Saddle Again

I'm back from my work-related trip to the West Coast, so expect some great posts in the next few hours/days. I miss working on this site and time is always the LIMFAC, but with the lack of stuff to do this week I should be having some fun here.

Stay Tuned....

posted by El Capitan at 10:35 AM 1 comments

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Thursday, June 15, 2006
Zarqawi's Temp Replacement Is Here

"A US spokesman said the new leader was an Egyptian militant based in Baghdad, Abu Ayyub al-Masri, who was also known as Abu Hamza al-Muhajir."


Ever wanted to see what a deer looks like while standing in the middle of I-75, staring at the headlights of an oncoming, American flag waving 18-Wheeler doing 80 mph?

Kind of like that old 'Bambi vs. Godzilla' cartoon.

posted by El Capitan at 2:50 PM 3 comments

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006
C-5 Accident Investigation Complete - Pilot Error Is On The Rise

Remember the C-5 Accident at Dover AFB a couple of months ago? Well the final report is in, and it doesn't look good for the crew. Turns out the pilot and co-pilot screwed up big time, and they're very lucky that their hundred million dollar mistake didn't take anyone's life.

The more important thing, which isn't mentioned in the article, is that there have been more aircrew mistakes over the last year than usual. Not sure if it's due to the influx of younger pilots or exhaustion from task/mission saturation, but it's happening and it is costing the Air Force a lot of time, money, and aircraft.

I hope the USAF Safety Center is looking into the increase in mishaps. Someone's gotta look out for us.

posted by El Capitan at 10:03 AM 0 comments

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Happy Birthday U.S. Army

231 years old, and you still have the best toys on the block. Congratulations from 'The Service Formerly Known As The Army Air Corps.'

Blackfive has the roundup.

posted by El Capitan at 9:58 AM 0 comments

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Fishing With RPGs

An Afghan Army regular, an RPG, a Fishing Hole, and some Smokey and the Bandit music.

Priceless.






Here's the link again just in case.

posted by El Capitan at 2:35 AM 0 comments

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Monday, June 12, 2006
USA Soccer - 'Oh No, We Suck Again!'

I'm so tired of getting my hopes up that the United States will some day sweep the World Cup. Nothing would make me happier than to see the entire team line up, trophy in hand, flipping off the entire world in perfect, beautiful, unison.

Looks like we'll have to wait another 4 years. The US lost 3-zip to the Czech-e-Cheeses. As Rob Schnieder said in Waterboy... 'Oh no, we suck again!'

Thankfully we can still destroy the planet better than anyone else if duty calls. Nobody does nukes quite like the U.S. can.

Made in the Good Ol' US of Freak'n A baby!

posted by El Capitan at 10:02 PM 0 comments

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8 Hours in New York City - Part I

One of those great things about being in the Air Force is that you get to travel often (if you're lucky). Last time I was in Baltimore/D.C. I noticed that New York City was only 189 miles away, so I promised myself I'd make the effort to get up there next time I was in The Beltway. I've never been to NYC before, so why not now?

200 miles and $20 in NJ Turnpike tolls later I found myself driving through Lower Manhattan for the first time. Once I found parking near my crack house of choice the city was mine for the taking.

I started out around Greenwich Village and 5th Ave. As a NYC novice I noticed how different the people were immediately. 80% of the folks walking by had a cigarette in one hand, their IPod headphones in one ear, and their cell phone headset in the other ear. Nothing out of the ordinary I guess. The big difference was their eyes. Most of the people that looked local were 'off' in some other world. Maybe it was because it was 5pm on a Thursday, or maybe it was because they were just 'zoning', but the people were lost in their own little space. I'm assuming that's how they cope with the city.

The subway system was easy to figure out. I bought a 6 trip pass for 10$ and headed up to Times Square. Two words: Tourist Trap. Wall to wall tourists who were dressed nearly as tacky as I was. Lots of lights, screens, TV studios, and places to eat.

The best part about Time Square was coming across this news headline scrolling along the ABC News studio. I hadn't heard about our Air Force brothers dropping a couple of GBUs on Zarqawi's forehead until then. Kick Ass! Best news I've heard in a long time.

Zed is dead baby... Zed is dead.

After that I hopped back onto the subway intending to get to the World Trade Center. My one mistake on the trip was that I took the wrong line. Once I noticed that the people sitting around me weren't talking English anymore I knew it was time to jump off. It was the right decision to make because I ended up in China Town. After the best and biggest $3.75 bowl of noodles and shrimp I've ever had, I walked a mile or two to the WTC site.

Not much I can say other than it was everything I hoped it would be. Solemn, thought-provoking, enraging, inspiring... I am very lucky to have seen it with my own eyes. Every American needs to see it before they build the ridiculous and offensive 'Freedom Tower'.

The most touching thing I came across. A tile made by the child of a 9/11 victim.

Ironically, Cox and Forkum recently asked the same question I kept asking while walking around the pit that was once the World Trade Center? Where's the memorial?

To be continued....

posted by El Capitan at 12:47 PM 2 comments

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Friday, June 02, 2006
Oklahoma City Memorial

This was my first trip to Oklahoma City, and my first opportunity to see the Memorial.

Two words - Tragic, yet Inspiring.

Try to make it down there some day if you get the chance.

posted by El Capitan at 8:43 AM 4 comments

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