Dude, where's the beach?

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I Just Don't See The Resemblence

posted by El Capitan at 10:44 PM 3 comments

Too Damn Funny To Pass Up

'Caption This' is an amusing blog that I try and visit often. The photo with captions below takes the cake. I couldn't pass it up, so enjoy... and go visit his sight for others. It's always nice to start the week with a good laugh.

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder and French President Jacques Chirac make the four-legged, two-headed love beast while dancing to Yvonne Elliman's disco classic, "If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody Baby."

1. "Invade me, Gerhard! Invade me like a ravaging hun!"

2. Gallant promises to respect and cherish their relationship forever. Goofus feels smothered.

3. Jacques Chirac tries out some of the German his mother learned during the war. "Hello, handsome German soldier. Looking for a good time?"

4. "Eeeewwwwww... Euro-tongue."

5. "I can't help it, Gerhard. Harry Potter movies get me so damn hot!!"

6. Try as he might, Schroder just couldn't get past the image of Chirac doing it with Lumbergh.

7. "Did I ask for a hug? Do I look like I need a hug? Let me the f**k go!"

8. "Oh, don't be so uptight, Gerhard. This is Europe. Pretty much everybody's a fag."

9. Poot! "Ach! Du habst einen farten aus-squeezened!"

10. "Don't worry, mon ami, I will help you pass your gallstone!"

posted by El Capitan at 7:53 AM 0 comments

An Air Force Reply to an Army Friend In Iraq

Funny thing... in Kirkuk all I ever heard about from the Army guys was how we in the AF treated our folks better. Honestly, we may do that, but I've spent the entire weekend thinking about taking advantage of the blue to green program. The Air Force may be great, but I was never meant to sit behind a computer screen in a cubicle and waste away. As we celebrated memorial day I wanted nothing more than to spend the time out there pounding sand. I guess I've been stir crazy ever since coming home.

No matter what I accomplish here in the States, it's never as important or rewarding as it was out there. I was standing in line at Sam's club on Sunday and someone noticed my Kirkuk T-Shirt and said welcome home. I thanked them... but I felt like crap because I don't feel like I deserved it when there are so many other people out there now actually doing something worthwhile while I'm sitting here in line at a Sam's club buying Chips and Salsa.

Yes, I guess it sounds like I'm whining in my reply to a friend who's stuck at a F.O.B. in the middle of the desert, but I can't hide from my thoughts. Life seems so much better when you wake up every morning and finish every day dirty, exhausted, yet fulfilled because you made a difference and helped further our nation's cause.

The famous General Patton quote about sacrifice in battle is absolutely true when applied to today's Air Force. "No Airman ever won a war by sending emails and building power point slides...." You know the rest.

To my friend, you Army 'Pukes' have every ounce of our respect and envy because you are the ones putting your lives on the line and making a difference. Coming from someone who used to think the Army was a useless relic of the past, you guys and gals truly kick ass.

Now back to my cubicle.

posted by El Capitan at 7:30 AM 5 comments

Friday, May 27, 2005

Never Forget

Places to start:

Blackfive: Opening the gates of heaven

Mudville Gazette: Sacred words "I want to fight for something"

Photo of the day: Maj. Mark Bieger

(Thanks to Michelle Malkin)

posted by El Capitan at 11:31 PM 0 comments

Emily Dieruf from Lexington, Kentucky reacts after finding her husband's dog tag at Camp Pendleton, California May 26, 2005. REUTERS/Mike Blake

posted by El Capitan at 11:12 PM 0 comments

Sabina Lawrence of Medford, N.J., (middle, holding camera) and Tracey Harrington, of Baltimore, at far right, both older sisters of fallen Marine John C. Spahr, stand as Marines salute during the end of memorial service for Spahr and Marine Captain Kelly Hinz, Thursday, May 26, 2005, at the Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, Calif. Holding flowers are daughters of Tracy Harrington, Grace, 8, front, and Kelly, 7, behind Kelly. Molly Hinz, wife of Kelly Hinz, is woman wearing sun glasses. Hinz and Spahr died earlier this month when their single-seat F/A-18 Hornet jets collided over south-central Iraq, according to information from the family and authorities. (AP Photo/Charlie Neuman, Pool)

posted by El Capitan at 11:11 PM 0 comments

U.S. Marine Sgt. David Winberg. Winberg was killed in Iraq, Wednesday, May 25, 2005, his family said through a spokesman. Winberg, 24, was from Louisville and was a graduate of Louisville Trinity High School. (AP Photo/Family Photo)

posted by El Capitan at 11:10 PM 0 comments

This photo provided by the Minnesota State Senate shows helicopter pilot Chief Warrant Officer Matthew Lourey, left, who died in Iraq, Thursday, May 26, 2005. Lourey, 41, son of state Sen. Becky Lourey, DFL-Kerrick, was assigned to fly Kiowa Warrior helicopters with the Army's 82nd Airborne Division. (AP Photo/Minnesota State Senate)

posted by El Capitan at 11:09 PM 0 comments

US soldiers in Afghanistan. (AFP/File)

posted by El Capitan at 11:08 PM 0 comments

U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Russell J. Verdugo, 34, is shown in Afghanistan. Verdugo died Monday, May 23, 2005, in Baghdad, Iraq, while on an assignment to remove a makeshift explosive. He was assigned to the 767th Ordnance Company at Fort McNair in Washington, D.C. The family of a Phoenix soldier remembered him Thursday, as an avid photographer who took professional quality photos and wanted people, to see what he'd seen. (AP Photo/Courtesy of Stanley family)

posted by El Capitan at 11:07 PM 0 comments

A U.S. soldier places flags at some of the over 200,000 tombstones at Arlington National Cemetery outside Washington, May 26, 2005. Since the U.S.-led invasion in March 2003, at least 1,647 American military personnel have lost their lives in Iraq. REUTERS/Micah Walter

posted by El Capitan at 11:07 PM 0 comments

Never Forget

Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
November 19, 1863

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

posted by El Capitan at 11:05 PM 0 comments

What's Next, A Ban On Pencils?

Doctors call for ban on pointy kitchen knives

And for the most stupid quote of the day.... "Kitchen knives can inflict appalling wounds"

Oh wait, this explains everything about France. "French laws in the 17th century decreed that the tips of table and street knives be ground smooth." Now I get it. I can see the white flags going up around Britain now if ever there is another invasion.

posted by El Capitan at 7:32 AM 0 comments

Thursday, May 26, 2005
Enjoy The Long Weekend!

For those of you outside of Ohio, enjoy the great weather. I'll try and cope with the gloom out here. For all of you military geeks, keep the wheels on the road. For some reason we lose more folks on this weekend than most. Don't forget to celebrate Memorial Day!

Gonna test out my new Monopoly board.

posted by El Capitan at 5:02 PM 0 comments

A 'Where's The Beach' Exclusive!

(Click Image to Enlarge - Dave would want you to)

Anonymous Source My Ass! Make sure you stop by his site and tell him to stop revealing our nation's deepest, darkest secrets... such as:

- Who the 'Smoking Man' really is

- The list of addictive chemicals in the McRib, making it craved by millions

- The fact that he provided the voice for Vader's "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

posted by El Capitan at 7:40 AM 1 comments

You can just feel the love...

Here's just a small dose of what's being tossed around the blogosphere now that Zarqawi is rumored to be injured and in need of prayers.

From the always sophisitcated Arthur Chrenkoff:
Get well, go to hell, al-Zarqawi
"...Within hours one posting had launched a "million prayers of recovery campaign," quickly garnering over 70 responses."

And Ace's own take on the matter:
Pray For al-Zarqawi
(Message from Terror Leadership) You guys do all the fighting and suicide-bombing. We'll be over here, bravely monitoring the situation on CNN, at a Damascus Fuddruckers.

I of course added to the scores of ideas that flooded Ace's website as to what we should be praying for in order to 'help' Zarqawi. Here's just one example from the hopeful converts...

"Do chiggers ever attack the anal cavity?"

Trust me, we're all looking forward to the day he goes teets up.

posted by El Capitan at 7:31 AM 0 comments

Mother of All Suicide Attacks.. A Must Read!

"...Through the clearing dust of the second car bomb, the same machine gunners who had engaged the second car bomb spotted a man running towards the breach site. The machine gunner engaged the man with a long burst of machine gun fire. As soon as the man was hit, he blew up, which tipped us off that he was a suicide bomber. As the dust dissipated, the small arms fire that we were receiving intensified. By this time, every Soldier in the company was in a fighting position and returning fire. The volume of fire was incredible. We burned through over 10,000 rounds of ammunition in less than five minutes. The craziest part of the whole event was that there were women and children milling about, as if nothing significant was occurring. Some lady carrying an infant walked right through the firefight, seemingly oblivious to the danger all around her. Even though our Soldiers are disciplined in their fire control, I am still amazed that she was not hit by at least a ricochet."

Continue Reading

(Hat Tip Toni)

posted by El Capitan at 7:30 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks Finally Charged With Being a Freaky-Deek

Actually, the headline reads 'Runaway bride' charged with making false statement (CNN), but if I had any say in the matter I would use the old 1845 Georgia law forbidding freaky-deeks from roaming the land.

Jennifer Wilbanks smiles at cameras from her padded cell

posted by El Capitan at 5:02 PM 0 comments

INXS Reality Show? It can't be...

I was very lucky to have seen Michael Hutchence and INXS in concert in the summer of 1997, just prior to his fateful 'slip up' in his hotel room in Australia. The band rocked, and when I started my Air Force Officer Field Training a week after the concert (like basic training) the music carried me through those grueling weeks of hell. I miss that band.

After watching The Contender finale last night I made the mistake of turning to CBS to catch Rob and Amber getting hitched, (Don't ask, it was a long night and my highspeed was down) and there was a commercial for a new reality show called Rockstar: INXS. I couldn't believe it.

Apparently they'll pick a new lead singer for INXS out of 15 people who will be living in a Hollywood Hills mansion. This just doesn't sound right. INXS was raw, and the music carried it's own. I can't imagine a bunch of 'Real World' types, running around complaining about messy rooms and hangovers, leading INXS. I can't imagine that the original band thought this was a good idea.

I don't see the show making it. Sure, it'll get ratings. Heck, a camera focused on a fishbowl could get ratings these days (just watch MSNBC). Yet I don't see a global audience wanting to pay money to see some reality geek on stage singing music that wasn't his own. They will be going on a world tour according to the press releases.

Some advice: They should start out at pubs and small venues. Especially places with chicken wire in front of the stage to protect the reality show winner from catching a stray beer bottle to the noggin.

posted by El Capitan at 7:41 AM 1 comments

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Like Spain, The Republicans Surrendered...

But let's talk more about the Republicans. They had total and complete victory in their hands, and they gave it up. (Neil)

REPUBLICANS BUCKLE (Michelle Malkin)

Yup, We're A Party Of Losers. (Dave)

Thank you, John McCain, for continuing to care so much about liberal media opinion and for continuing to suffer under the delusion that we're going to allow a Napoleon-complexed strutting peacock like you to be our President. (Ace)

My take... a few weeks ago we were all relieved when Tony Blair received the blessing of his people to stay in office. Many out there realized that Spain was indeed the only nation who caved to the anti-war, anti-democracy, anti-freedom fringe. Spain was the only nation to cower in fear of its enemies even though it was on the winning side.

To me, the Republican buckle on judicial nominees is similar to Spain's surrender to Al-Qaeda. Both had victory in their grasp... both had the moral authority and the law on their side... and in the end, both caved in to the side that has been losing since 11 September.

I won't give into the temptation of disavowing my party, but it will take years... and it will take the development of true leadership on the Right before I ever lift a finger for the party again.

January 2001, Batter UP!
Out of control spending was STRIKE 1.
Immigration was STRIKE 2.
Lack of leadership in Congress, FOUL BALL.
Giving in to the losing party bent on our destruction, STRIKE 3.

You're out.

UPDATE: If you think I've said the Dems are equal to Al Qaeda, time to change your meds. The Dems are not mudering bastards. They are losers though... at least in the election realm, having lost every major federal election after 1996. Why then do the Repubs act like the losing party and the Dems rush in to fill the power vacuum?

posted by El Capitan at 7:43 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 23, 2005
Another False News Story?

Wormhole 'no use' for time travel (BBC)
If this story were true, then tell me how they were able to get all of these famous Old Dudes together in the same picture. Hello... I'm getting fed up with this media bias crap!

My Fellow Dudes Bill & Ted, Lincoln and So-Crates.

posted by El Capitan at 5:28 PM 0 comments

Saturday, May 21, 2005
All Too Appropriate

RUNNING ON EMPTY (by Jackson Browne)

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-o-one
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned onto the road I'm on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone but me
If it takes all night, that'll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind

Honey you really tempt me
You know the way you look so kind
I'd love to stick around but I'm running behind
You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find
Running into the sun but I'm running behind

posted by El Capitan at 9:03 AM 1 comments

Friday, May 20, 2005
Newsweek With Yet Another Scoop!

(Hat Tip Toni at My View who found it first, so Ththbbtbtbt!!!!)

UPDATE: It's sad I have to 'splain this to some folks, but the above picture is fake. It is intended to make fun of Newsweek's journalistic integrity and standards. It is not an endorsement of bombing Mecca. Anyone who thinks it is an endorsement or suggestion really needs urgent psychological counseling and high doses of medication immediately. Now, back to our regularly scheduled program...

posted by El Capitan at 7:50 AM 1 comments

Before You Feel Sorry For Him, Remember This:

Here's a list of just some of Saddam's atrocities:
-Systematic rape of women, including 'rape rooms' set up for the use of Saddam's cronies, including his sons
-Civilians being shredded, feet-first, in industrial shredders
-At least 1.5 million people killed by death squads
-The massacre of 5,000 Kurds with nerve gas
-Saddam offered to pay $25,000 to the families of Palestinian suicide bombers
-The raping and pillaging of Kuwait during Gulf War I
(Hat Tip: Boortz)

So why do you feel bad for the guy?

"In other news, there was a rush on Boxers in Iraq today..."

posted by El Capitan at 7:40 AM 1 comments

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Quick Review...

(Click to Enlarge)

So Star Wars Episode III wasn't as bad as some are saying. I was still captivated with the special effects, the mystique of the force, the ships and cities, etc. Basically it was great.

The only bad moments I could pick out were:
- Overt partisan tones hinting towards today's political landscape. It made you want to shout out 'George Lucas, STFU!!!!' Politics does not belong in Star Wars.
- Storm Troopers are well trained and can hold their own in this episode, yet in episodes 4-6 they can't hit the side of a barn during shoot-outs and space battles. Someone must have urinated in the clone batch just before Luke and Han came around.
- Anikan gives into the Dark Side way too easily. He could have at least said 'No' once, or hinted at not wanting to turn bad. He gave no resistance. Must have been because the Emperor asked him 'Pretty Please!'
- Finally, the light saber that Obie Won took from Anikan after their final battle (when Anikan was left for dead) was purple/blue, yet that same light saber is green when it appears in Episode IV. No, I'm not that much of a geek... I just overheard some geeks talking about it.

posted by El Capitan at 7:36 AM 0 comments

Thursday, May 19, 2005
Couldn't have written it better myself...

Growing up on the Central Coast of California I was surrounded, influenced, shaped and molded by the free-loving, Hippie-spirited, far left. Honestly, it was a great atmosphere and really helped me understand the world. There was no 'Far Left', just us'Normal' people vs. the evil, bigoted, mean conservatives.

I just came across an article published last February from someone who like myself, was raised near San Francisco. The only difference between his story and mine is that I converted to the normalcy of conservativism just before college. His transformation came after September 11th. I guess our names are also different... he kept his Hippie name (Cinnamon) while I dropped mine (Lil' Helgmeister). Actually that was my skater name, but its close enough.

Whether you're on the right or the left, it's a great window into the world of converts like me who grew up and rebelled against how we were raised.

OPINION: The Making Of A 9/11 Republican

posted by El Capitan at 5:02 PM 0 comments

Best Star Wars Review Ever!

My kids watched the midnight showing of Star Wars episode 3 last night. When they dragged themselves back in the house at 3am I was ready to get the inside scoop.

Q: So, how was it!
A: Uh, it was cool.
Q: What happened?
A: Just a lot of exploding ships and crap. The popcorn was bad.
Q: How did it end?
A: The theater lights came on and everyone cheered.
(silence.....)
A: Dude, I'm tired... later.

So there you have it folks! The best Star Wars Review Ever!!!!

God help me!

posted by El Capitan at 7:51 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Happy Birthday NATO!

Congratulations to the only international military organization with the 'gnads' to make a difference around the world.

They're in the Balkans, Afghanistan, Over Turkey, throughout the Mediterranean, and mostly working in Iraq. (Iran is on the scope as well) The new NATO Reaction Force (NRF) is truly the only European military force capable of going anywhere, at any time.

Today they celebrate the 56th year of their Treaty, and the 55th year of its ratification.

posted by El Capitan at 7:41 AM 0 comments

Sign Me Up!!!!

Air Force Seeks Bush's Approval for Space Weapons Programs (NYT)

It's about time they gave us Air Force geeks something cool to fly in. I've been begging for an R2 unit for years, and I hear they come standard with these things. I'll be the first in line to get my space wings... but I was told the rectal exam is a double-fister... so maybe I'll let the newbies go first. Gotta take one for the team, but it'll be worth it.

I can see the recruiting commercials now.

The U.S. Air Force... Step Into The Blue!

posted by El Capitan at 7:10 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 17, 2005
HA HA HA!!!!!

This is just too great to pass up.

Europe unites in hatred of French

So when the U.S. jokes about France we're a bunch of mean bullies, but when Europe collectively hates France it's ok.

This just goes to show that France is like that friend everyone has that always smells bad. Someone along the way has told this guy that he reaks, but the guy doesn't believe the comment and takes offense to it, refusing to take a bath. Finally, when everyone else around the guy repeatedly tells him that he's beyond smelly and repulsive, the guy finally gets a clue and takes a bath.

C'mon France, it's time to grab that bar of soap and start scrubbing.

posted by El Capitan at 7:55 AM 0 comments

AC's Letter to George Lucas... Priceless

Arthur Chrenkoff wrote an open letter to George Lucas to address the Star Wars Mafioso's comments at the Cannes Film Festival. The letter, written by someone who was born and raised in a totalitarian regime, is a slam dunk to George's pandering to the Cannes judges that the United States is the Evil Empire of Star Wars. Chrenkoff's brilliant logic leads to the idea that if the U.S. is the Empire, who then are the good 'Rebels'.

"Yes, we were very wrong indeed - to you, the Empire was the United States of America, and if that's the case, then the brave rebels could only be all those people around the world fighting the American Empire - the Castros, Che Guevaras, Ho Chi Minhs, Pol Pots, and by extension, the Brezhnevs and the Mao Tse Tungs of this world. You, of course, live in the Free World, and as such you have the right to believe that your country is the most powerful force for evil operating in the world. But just for the sake of completeness and historical accuracy, can I just mention that whatever the sins of the United States - and I certainly understand well enough that no country is perfect - your rebels, both when fighting for power and when finally in power, ended up being responsible for the death of tens of millions and enslavement of hundreds of millions; the Luke Skywalkers and Han Solos of the last century gave us gulags and re-education camps, terror famines and political prisons; they institutionalized cults of personality, stifled every human freedom and impoverished whole nations."

I highly recommend you read the entire letter (Scroll down to read it). It just goes to show that if you take the ideas of the far far left (or far far right, let's be fair) and logically follow them from start to finish, chaos and stupidity insue.

Why is it that our greatest actors and directors are rarely as bright as the stars they create?

posted by El Capitan at 7:40 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 16, 2005
Newsweek Story Worse Than Abu Graib

The worst part about Abu Graib was that a few bad apples completely ruined the image of the United States and its Armed Forces. Their disgusting pictures became the recruiting posters for terrorists throughout the Middle East. Newsweek's blatant, unsubstantiated lie about the desecration of a Quaran at Guantanamo Bay is earning even more hatred for the United States.

As you know, Newsweek published an allegation that American prison guards were flushing Quarans down toilets as a torture tactic in Guantanamo Bay. They substantiated the story by asking an 'Unnamed Senior pentagon Official' to verify the report. The 'Unnamed Official' declined to comment because he had no information to validate the report. The Official's comment, or lack of a comment, equated to substantiation for Newsweek. The result... countless people died and over a hundred were injured around the world during protests against the 'Quaran Flushing' Evil United States.

The damage the authors and editors at Newsweek have caused to the United States is equal to that of the damage caused by the bad apples at Abu Graib. Their farce, or as Newsweek called it, mistake, is directly responsible for the deaths of Muslims around the world and is undoubtedly another recruiting incentive for young men and women to join terror cells in order to kill more Americans around the world.

Simply stated, more Americans and Muslims will die because of Newsweek's arrogance, lack of journalistic ethics, and blatant desire to bring harm to the Bush Administration, whatever the price, whatever the cost.

The bad apples at Newsweek need to be fired and held accountable for their actions. The families of the dead and injured protestors need to sue Newsweek for every penny they have. And finally the Washington Post, owner of Newsweek, needs to spend millions to squash this story via admitting to the world that they lied and were wrong. If doing so stops just one unnecessary death of an American or Muslim it will be worth every penny.

Newsweek has blood on their hands.

posted by El Capitan at 5:06 PM 4 comments

Newsweek Lied, People Died!

Newsweek, caught with a guilty conscious, apologized for writing a false news story about U.S. interrogators in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, who flushed a Quaran down the toilet as a means of intimidation.

"Editor Mark Whitaker said the magazine inaccurately reported that U.S. military investigators had confirmed that personnel at the detention facility in Cuba had flushed the Muslim holy book down the toilet."

The story has resulted in mass riots throughout Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Gaza, resulting in 16 deaths and over 100 injuries.

Once again, the Mass Media lied, People Died. I guess that should be the new chant of the Blogosphere. This is really, really sad. So sad it doesn't surprise me. I think whomever was responsible for writing that article and publishing it should resign in shame.

UPDATE: Yes, I was a little slow on this one. Michelle Malkin beat me to the punch with the Newsweek Lied People Died headline. Hat Tip to her!

posted by El Capitan at 7:27 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005
Canon AFB & Ellsworth AFB - R.I.P.

The only two Air Force bases on the chopping block so far are Canon and Ellsworth. Yes, several others are being 'realigned', or downsized, but losing Ellsworth seems to be the odd choice. I didn't think we'd be getting rid of our B-1 Bombers, or B'Ones, for another decade or two. Yes, they can ship them off someplace else, but they just spent millions moving them to Ellsworth. Now what?

As for Canon, hasta la vista baby. Nothing but F-16, which are a dime a dozen and get moved almost anywhere easily.

On a serious note, thousands of civilians will be losing their livelihood when these places close. It's easy to look at the 'big picture' concept of force realignment and other national security issues and forget that none of these bases, wings, brigades, or fleets could operate without the sacrifices and dedication of the civilian work force. These folks make the biggest difference, yet will get hurt the most. I hope we've got something planned to help them out.

It's the least we could do.

UPDATE: Wow, I missed the major hits on Eielson and Elmendorf Air Force Base. Eielson, where I was stationed last, is in the heart of Alaska. It's losing nearly the entire wing of F-16s and A-10s, leaving only the guard tankers. Looks like that place will be on the chopping block in 10 years, which is sad. Alaska has some of the best bases to live and work at.

posted by El Capitan at 11:10 AM 0 comments

And Now... For The Lighter Side Of The News

"First round of Jesus Juice is on me!!!"

I'm the first blog to share the news on this story. I don't think many folks saw this one coming... Fox News is reporting that someone whom the Prosecution considered a Key Witness has turned and will be testifying in Michael Jackson's defense. They think this turn of events will get the case thrown out of court.

"In other words: The conspiracy case — already weakened to the point of being laughable — is all but over."

Basically by next week he'll be living la vida loca at the local McDonald's Play Place, with the Jesus Juice flowing like Kool-Aid on a hot day. Lock your doors, and check the batteries on your children's GPS trackers... Mr. Thriller will be runing wild.

UPDATE: Do you think they'll initiate a 'Michael Alert' to notify parents to keep your young boys inside when Michael Jackson is in town?

posted by El Capitan at 6:23 AM 0 comments

Thursday, May 12, 2005
Europe's Warning to Iran is All Too Familiar

Europeans warn Iran not to resume nuclear work (Reuters)

Tough European warning to Tehran (BBC)

Regarding these headlines, I just have one very simple question. Are you joking? Seriously, Iran getting a warning from ‘Big Bad Europe’ is like Mike Tyson getting a warning by Screech from Saved by the Bell. The Ayatollahs may be temporarily blinded from uncontrolled fits of laughter, but that’s about it. What is Europe thinking?

Europe warning Iran is reminiscent of England and France warning Nazi Germany not to invade Poland. Europe has absolutely no ability to stop Iran. They couldn’t even get the United Nations on the same boat with them because someone will be in someone elses back pocket when it comes to a vote.

A couple of days ago I jumped into a conversation about how to deal with North Korea since China is proving to be a ‘Neutered Dragon’ so to speak. I think it’s time to ask a similar question; How should we deal with Iran?

No thanks to the Russian Federation for selling them arms like they were candy over the last decade. Everyone saw this situation coming, but they just kept passing the buck. Now that things are about to hit the fan and Iran is readying their nuclear weapons program Europe is finally waking up to reality. (Reality to Europe = They are not as influential as the U.S.)

Here’s the deal. Iran has a strong and well-equipped military. They also have plenty of money and a blossoming nuclear program. This situation, which was allowed to fester by the same countries now trying to stop it, is a threat to the entire globe because Iran still holds the title as the single biggest supporter of Terrorism throughout the world. In a few years any nation who makes the Ayatollahs angry enough may find a shipping container with a nuke drastically changing their favorite city’s skyline. Either that or they will be introduced to Iran’s well-trained and eager military war machine. Who’s going to stop them?

Iran will not give in to economic sanctions. Let’s face it, sanctions never work. (Just ask Castro) They certainly won’t roll over to a military invasion like Iraq. The Iranian people are very proud and eager to defend themselves. Yes, they want a democracy in their country, but it won’t happen at the barrel of a gun.

The first possible solution is to rapidly increase internal support for political opposition to the theocracy currently ruling the country. People want change, all they need is more support and encouragement. Remember, a Democracy rarely invades or poses a threat to other Democracies. Such as Margaret Thatcher’s comments regarding her initial impression of Gorbachev, I’m confident the West could work with a Democratic Iran.

The second and more drastic solution is for a wide-ranging and diverse international coalition to enact diplomacy from 20,000 feet above Iran. Similar to NATO’s Operation Allied Force in Serbia; we could use precision weapons to take out Iran’s nuclear facilities, major military resources, and heads of state. Let the people rise up and fill in the vacuum. Of course I did not agree with how NATO handled Serbia, and I still see that situation as unstable and unfinished, but it had some merits to it.

The third and most unreasonable solution would be to let Iran do what it wants. Let it become a nuclear power and see what it does with it’s newfound clout. If they get too big for their britches then the world will have to smack it back down. Of course the cost of waiting until then would be much greater, both in lives lost and in wide-spread destruction.

So I go back to my original point. What’s the use of Europe warning Iran? It’s pointless and only shows how pitiful and egotistical most of Old Europe has become. They actually think people will take them seriously. Talk about the fall of Western Civilization; here’s the opening salvo. Europe looses all credibility and influence throughout the world.

Next thing you will hear is Europe claiming that the worsening situation is the fault of the United State’s isolationism, and that they’ve been awaiting our assistance for years. It sounds all too familiar to me.

Time to grab a shovel and dig up Churchill and FDR. (Sorry Putin, Stalin stays in the ground)

posted by El Capitan at 5:01 PM 1 comments

Operation Matador Questions

Does anyone know where the best sources of information and updates are for Operation Matador? I'm quickly becoming impatient with CNN, Fox, BBC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, and the other Mass Media outlets. The 15 second blurbs are all repetitive, and the information they provide seems to contradict itself.

This is a major operation which will have a huge impact on the insurgent capabilities out there. I want to know how our Marines and Army bretheren are doing.

Help point me in the right direction.

posted by El Capitan at 7:22 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Wow... Can You Say Freaky?

Who needs a cold shower when you have something like this etched into the recesses of your soul for eternity. Does she even have eyelids?

posted by El Capitan at 7:59 PM 0 comments

I Thought She Looked Familiar

The Runaway Bride in "Young Frankenstein"

posted by El Capitan at 7:58 AM 0 comments

Observations by MDG...

If you haven't read Ma Deuce Gunner's blog (MDG), you need to make it a habit. This guy is out in Kirkuk where I was deployed last Fall, and his stories and observations are one of a kind.

His latest post is filled with some insightful comments and lessons learned, and is a great window into the world of a U.S. Soldier in Iraq for those who will never have the opportunity to know what it's like. Yes, his story is one of many, but it's one worth knowing.

"Missions have gotten a bit monotonous. I am NOT complaining. Well, OK, maybe I am, just a little bit. The conspicuous absence of IEDs and, well, anything pointy, fast, and airborne headed my direction is not a lamented occurrence. I hesitate to wish for action, because an adrenaline high at the cost of a lost brother is not a fair trade. But part of me wants SOMETHING to happen. Complacency gnaws at soldiers, and we do our best to slap the beast back from our mental edge, through training and perserverance. Everyone here understands that as quiet and un-eventful as things have been lately, this is a 360' battlefield, and the enemy is resourceful and dedicated. I am very proud of my platoon and their diligence."

Spend a few minutes and check out his blog if you've never been there.

posted by El Capitan at 7:44 AM 0 comments

China (a.k.a. The Neutered Dragon)

Dave over at Garfield Ridge offers some good insight about what is happening with North Korea and China.

"The only thing that scares the Chinese more than losing Taiwan forever is the prospect of a nuclear-armed Japan and South Korea. North Korea scares them too, but as long as they have Kim on a short leash, there are worse things than a nuclear Pyongyang. Whether they really do or not, the Chinese obviously believe they do, or else they wouldn't suffer a nuclear neighbor."

I naively offered my expert political insight to the State Department. (I'm still waiting for a Thank You card.)

If China doesn't have the balls to yank on Kim Jong's leash, then it'll have to be done by the rest of the world. Economic sanctions won't do it. Blockade won't happen thanks to China. China wouldn't let us get away with direct military strikes either.
So here's an idea. Take carrier groups from France, India, the U.S. and Russia (if they could plug the holes), and put them off the two coasts of South Korea. Shift about 50K U.S. troops to South Korea, and another 50K grunts from other countries. Load the South with as much international canon fodder as possible, then sit and wait a few months.
It would be a win-win for China because then they could be the 'Powerful International Mediator' by yanking on Kim's choke collar and giving him a good smack down, thus 'saving the world.'
All it would take is for France to strap on a pair, and for all the participating nations involved to keep their military forces well South of China. Wouldn't want to bump into another Chinese Ace and cause yet another international incident.

Chilperic offered this great insight to help Dave in his plight to save the world.

"It may be off-topic, but I'm wondering where a nuclear Australia would fit into the Pacific/Asian geopolitical landscape."

I can imagine it now... Aussies with nukes. No matter how much I love those fellow beach bums down there, I could see them using their nukes for more creative endeavors such as this.

posted by El Capitan at 12:54 AM 0 comments

Yeaahhh, That Would Be Great...

I no longer can tell fact from fiction

Dude, we're going to have to have a little talk, okaayyy. You see, even though we canceled your orders to Sunny California and you have nothing important to do at the moment, we still need you to actually look like you're accomplishing something. We wouldn't want everyone else to think that you weren't busy enough over here in your cubicle.

Now don't forget that Friday is 'Casual Camouflage Day'. Oh, I almost forgot... I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday. Since this is a Joint Program with the Navy, we'll be helping them polish the brass fixtures all day.

Grrreeaaat. I'll see you tomorrow.

(still repeatedly hitting my head against the monitor just to know I'm still concious)

posted by El Capitan at 12:23 AM 0 comments

Say Hello To My Little Friend!

Hey You Guyyyyyyys!!!
For years I took pride in knowing I was a full fledged member of the No Ma'am Club, but as the years continue rolling by I realize that I'm probably better off reverting back to being a Goonie rather than a follower of President Bundy. After all, the Goonies saved Washington State from becoming a golf course, right? What did No Ma'am ever do for me other than get me discounts at the local Hooters, and I haven't been there for years. (The wife still doesn't believe it's a family restaurant)

I think it's time to hang up the old No Ma'am shirt and start wearing a Goonie Uniform: Hawaiian shirt with a red jacket that has multiple hidden pockets for my snickers bars and retractable gadgets. That'll impress the babes.

posted by El Capitan at 12:02 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 10, 2005
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One.... Latte.

Must...Not...Give...In...

Found myself sitting at a coffeeshop once again, thinking about everything, yet nothing. It's amazing how comforting coffee shops can be. (No, I don't mean the the coffee shops in Europe) It must be how Norm and Cliff Clavin felt walking into Cheers every day to get their daily fix.

Some people like a cold can of Pabst Blue Ribbon in their hand... some like a glass of Shiraz... and some just want a cup of coffee.

Why is this little Cup of Joe calling out to me? I think it's time to seek help for my caffiene addiction. That damn Starbucks label is haunting me... telling me everything is going to be all right. Maybe it's the 21st Century version of Soylent Green... Wow, I might be on to something.

I feel like the guy from the Twighlight Zone who shouted "IT'S A COOK BOOK!!!" Sadly, I know that if I tried the Starbucks Agents would hunt me down and take me to the 'happy place.'

I guess I should just give in and accept the fact that, like in A Brave New World, I'm a Somek/Caffiene freak.

posted by El Capitan at 5:22 PM 0 comments

Now This Is How To Welcome A Liberator!

I'm sure Putin was fuming.

Georgian hospitality at its finest. Bush received a hero's welcome in the Georgian Republic today. They crowds chanted ‘Liberator’ as Bush arrived. The best part, it wasn't staged. When you have over a hundred thousand Georgians tearing apart police barricades and climbing over walls just to cheer our President, you know the Georgian Government couldn't have planned it. Most nationally staged events resemble orderly church services, not rock concerts.

Even better, the press seems to be praising his reception. I would have guessed that they would be ignoring it, or downplaying it as they typically do.

Related Stories - BBC CNN Fox

posted by El Capitan at 5:18 PM 1 comments

More Pics from Lollapa-Georgia

A much deserved welcome.

posted by El Capitan at 5:13 PM 0 comments

Last Picture...

Who said Freedom wasn't contagious?

posted by El Capitan at 5:11 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 09, 2005
The Assignment Gods Must Have It In For Me

If you haven't noticed the title of this blog before, it's called 'Dude, Where's The Beach...' For those who know me well enough it's quite obvious that a majority of my psychological makeup is derived from growing up on the sandy beaches of the Monterey Bay. Ever since joining the military I really haven't been near a real ocean in 6 years. Matter of fact, I've been landlocked for way too long, and the lack of salty air and sand between my toes is seriously taking its toll.

Two months ago the Assignment Gods smiled down on me and sent a TPS Memo stating that I would be moving to Los Angeles to live on the beach. When I got that notice I knew my prayers had been answered and life was once again sweet.

Well, last week the Gods struck me down. LA was pulled, and I was forced into perpetual purgatory to await my next assignment. (My fellow cubicle forest dwellers didn't understand why I fell to my knees and shouted 'WHY GOD, WHYYYYYY!')

Could be days, could be months. My luck, I'll end up in the Dakotas, Tennessee, or even worse... Utah. I don't know... All I do know is that I am once again without a beach.

I'm finished being Mr. Nice Guy. Time to start cutting down cubicle walls and unscrewing doorknobs. Better yet, I'm headed to Home Depot to get a few bags of sand, some tiki-torches, and an inflatable palm tree. I can't take it anymore.

posted by El Capitan at 5:49 PM 3 comments

Am I the only one who doesn't like this?

Russian Troops dressed as Soviet Troops... not a good thing.

As a 'Cold War Kid' and History Geek, images like this still wory me like they did when I was younger. Am I just out of it, or do other people not enjoy the sight of the Hammer and Sickle and pictures of Lenin paraded around?

posted by El Capitan at 7:49 AM 1 comments

Why Are We Celebrating Again?

Found a great article about the anniversary of the surrender of Nazi Germany in 1945. The author makes a great point about how one tyranical regime was replaced with another, Stalin's Soviet Empire.

As a result of the Great Patriotic War, Finland had its Karelian Peninsula torn away by Stalin and 10 Christian countries -- Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Czechoslovakia, East Germany, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary and Yugoslavia -- endured Stalinist persecution and tyranny for half a century.

Between 13 million and 15 million Germans were ethnically cleansed from the Baltic region, Poland and Czechoslovakia. Two million, mostly women and children, perished in an orgy of murder, rape and massacre that attended that greatest forced exodus in European history.

Yes, it was a great day when Nazi Germany fell, but I truly believe the decades following Germany's downfall were equally as bad for Europe because of the Soviet Union's terrible rule, which was allowed to happen because of the West's fear of Stalin. They threw him a few bones (Eastern Europe, Baltics, etc) to placate him. Sadly, the bones were the lives of millions over several generations.

Yes, War is Hell, but so is the aftermath.

posted by El Capitan at 7:31 AM 0 comments

Friday, May 06, 2005
WTF!!!!! Make Up Your Freak'n Mind!

The air is cleaner, the environment is better, the flowers are blooming,
BUT WE'RE ALL STILL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!!!

(Slamming head against monitor repeatedly)

Here's the article. Word of advice, don't hit your head too hard... it'll break the monitor.

posted by El Capitan at 7:54 AM 0 comments

Do Not Trust This Man...

Vladimir Putin, T-100 or T-1000?

I've studied Russian History for years, so I know what I'm talking about when it comes to Russian affairs. I love Russia and I want only the best for its people, but Vladimir Putin is really making things difficult for our countries. I swear he's trying to start another Cold War-type relationship.

MIND YOUR OWN DEMOCRACY, SAYS PRESIDENT PUTIN (60 Minutes Interview)

A combative Vladimir Putin tells Mike Wallace he should question his own country's democratic ways before looking for problems with Russia's. The Russian president also says the U.S. shouldn't try to export its democracy, as it is trying to do in Iraq...

Wallace gets quite a reaction from Putin by asking him about a recent change the Russian leader made. Says Wallace, "There was a time when the regional governors were elected, correct? And all of the sudden, Putin says, 'No, no, no. I shall appoint the governors.' That's democracy? That's not democracy the way I understand it," says Wallace. "The principle of appointing regional leaders is not a sign of a lack of democracy," Putin retorts. "You're absolutely wrong.

The Russian leader then points to what he believes are drawbacks to America's own brand of democracy, including the Electoral College system. "In the United States, you first elect the electors and then they vote for the presidential candidates. In Russia, the president is elected through the direct vote of the whole population. That might be even more democratic," Putin says. "And you have other problems in your elections," he tells Wallace. "Four years ago your presidential election was decided by the court. The judicial system was brought into it. But we're not going to poke our noses into your democratic system because that's up to the American people."

...But pulling out of Iraq is not an option, says Putin. "But if the U.S. were to leave and abandon Iraq without establishing the grounds for a united and sovereign country, that would definitely be a second mistake," he tells Wallace.

Mr. Putin, let me help you with something:
- First, the United States is not a Democracy, it's a Republic. The electroral college keeps our system in balance, and out of anarchy. (i.e. without it, New York and California would be choosing our President) Get your facts straight.
- Second, appointing Governors, controlling the media, and confiscating private companies is not democratic. It's what your buddies Lenin and Stalin did... have you forgoten already?
- Third, the only mistake made in Iraq was Russia's alliegence to Saddam, not our effort to Democratize the region. That's what happens when you support a twisted protoge of Stalin.

Do not trust Putin. His intentions for his country and its people are not good. He's only looking out for himself by consolidating power and making the U.S. Russia's threat once again. By doing so he can justify his actions, and will undoubtedly drag us into another Cold War.

posted by El Capitan at 7:36 AM 0 comments

Thursday, May 05, 2005
He Put The Grrrr In Swinger Baby!

Looks like England didn't pull a 'Spain' after all. Congratulations Tony Blair for a job well done. Unlike the British Press who said that every American who voted for Bush was a moron, we won't make that claim against those who voted for Blair's opponents. We'll just make fun of their teeth.

Or we'll just let them make fun of themselves. Seriously, compare this photo to this one and see for yourself. At least they're being honest about their manliness.

Groovy Baby, Yeahh!

posted by El Capitan at 5:07 PM 1 comments

This Must Be Why He Won The Election

(Enter your favorite Austin Powers line here)

C'mon, You Know You Want My Sexy Body!

posted by El Capitan at 5:05 PM 0 comments

Pay Attention to the Headlines

Aurthur Chrenkoff pointed these two articles out to his readers, illustrating the Media's latest attempt to misinform and mislead the true reality of the War on Terror.

45 killed in insurgent attacks

Chrenkoff:
"That is, more than half of the people killed in insurgent attacks were the insurgents themselves. Actually, when you read on, you discover that another five insurgents died in two separate attack, which means that the number is realy 29 out of 45"

Iraqi official, 26 others killed in fresh violence

"of those 26 killed, 13 were insurgents"

Picking up on Chrenkoff's lessons, I found this article in today's BBC online edition.

Afghan fighting 'leaves 70 dead'

If you actually read the article you will see that of the 70 killed, 1 was an Afghan Policeman, and 9 were Afghan National Army soldiers. In other words, 60 enemy Taliban and anti-coalition forces and 10 Afghans were killed.

So now ask yourself why does the media flash such horrific headlines across their papers and websites when the reality of what they're reporting is completely different? They must be counting on a majority of their readers to only browse the headlines and not actually read their articles.

Remember... the same people who claim that the soldier holding the dying child (below) killed that child are the same people writing the stories you read every day. We know the reality... the Iraqi and Afghan Armies are getting better at defending against terrorists; the terrorists have resorted to killing innocent people because they know they are losing; and finally, Major Mark Bieger (pictured below) is holding that innocent little girl because the terrorists are rat-bastards who decided that bombing children was easier than fighting U.S. and Iraqi forces.

Why is it that the press still doesn't get it?

posted by El Capitan at 5:01 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Don't Ever Doubt Why We Fight Terror

As a father and a soldier, this photo absolutely tears me apart. To the detractors of this war, don't ever say we're there for oil/money/power, etc. We're there to stop the killing and oppression of the innocent. Our enemies are terrorists, not insurgents. We continue to fight because we don't want this to continue. This is a fight for human dignity, human rights, and freedom, and soldiers like this will continue to risk their lives to stop this carnage. They do it not because they want to, but because nobody else will. This is the American Soldier.

Update: This photo was taken by Michael Yon, an inbedded reporter. Here's his blog, and here's the story behind the photo.

Mosul
Major Mark Bieger found this little girl after the car bomb that attacked our guys while kids were crowding around. The soldiers here have been angry and sad for two days. They are angry because the terrorists could just as easily have waited a block or two and attacked the patrol away from the kids. Instead, the suicide bomber drove his car and hit the Stryker when about twenty children were jumping up and down and waving at the soldiers. Major Bieger, I had seen him help rescue some of our guys a week earlier during another big attack, took some of our soldiers and rushed this little girl to our hospital. He wanted her to have American surgeons and not to go to the Iraqi hospital. She didn't make it. I snapped this picture when Major Bieger ran to take her away. He kept stopping to talk with her and hug her.

The soldiers went back to that neighborhood the next day to ask what they could do. The people were very warming and welcomed us into their homes, and many kids were actually running up to say hello and to ask soldiers to shake hands.

Eventually, some insurgents must have realized we were back and started shooting at us. The American soldiers and Iraqi police started engaging the enemy and there was a running gun battle. I saw at least one IP who was shot, but he looked okay and actually smiled at me despite the big bullet hole in his leg. I smiled back.

One thing seems certain; the people in that neighborhood share our feelings about the terrorists. We are going to go back there, and if any terrorists come out, the soldiers hope to find them. Everybody is still very angry that the insurgents attacked us when the kids were around. Their day will come.

Michael Yon

posted by El Capitan at 5:02 PM 4 comments

Bulldog Update - Lynndie England may be forced to plead not guilty

If America's Sweetheart Lynndie England is forced to plead Not Guilty in her Abu Graib trial, then her 11 year plea bargain may be thrown out. If so, we may just get a good 20 years out of her after all.

Judge Throws Out England's Guilty Plea

11 years for doing what she did is not good enough, and it's already pissing off most of the Middle East. Yes, they have no real say in the matter, but think of how many Iraqis joined the insurgency because of what this little bulldog did. Think of how many more will join if they know we let her get off with only 11 years. Don't believe me, check the Iraqi blogs and you'll get the message.

She needs to be put away for a long long time. Screw this excuse that she's mentally retarded or 'slower' than others. She needs to be made an example of for anyone considering doing what she did. 25 years to life would do a lot for U.S.-Iraqi relations.

It would also make Lynndie's future cell mates/leash holders much more confident in their future long-term relationship.

posted by El Capitan at 7:49 AM 0 comments

Had To Dust Off The Brain Cells For This Effort...

Dave at Garfield Ridge linked to a semi-readable article from Fred Kaplan at Slate regarding the failures of the Non-Proliferatoin Treaty. Since I haven't used my editorial brain cells since finishing my Masters in National Security Studies, I figured now was the time to give it a shot. That, and the fact that Kaplan's article had more holes in it than Swiss Cheese, so it was an easy piece to take a shot at. Here it goes...

Fred Kaplan's assessment of the nearly irrelevant Non-Proliferation Treaty has some merit to it, yet all but one of his recommendations to solve the current 'crisis' are far from realistic.

His assessment of the treaty's loopholes is dead on.
1)It lets countries get to the brink of nuclear weapons and then quit the treaty and build the weapons
2)It provides no penalties for quitting or violating the treaty
3)It doesn't really require the big five to cut back on their nuclear weapons.

Kaplan's biggest failure is to not find a realistic solution to the NPT's failures. Blaming Bush's plan to modernize the U.S. stockpiles is not a solution, and only dirties Kaplan's overall assessment with the mud of politics. Anyone with a basic understanding of our current stockpiles knows that our 'City Killers' are no longer a deterrent in today's world. Developing smaller, bunker-busting devices will only force countries like Iran and North Korea above ground.

Developing an international rapid-reaction multi-national force to stop smaller countries or organizations in violation of the NTP is a foreseeable option. Stopping any modernization of weaponry by the nations who already have stockpiles is not realistic.

Again, deterrence is a major key. Either through economic aid and multi-national collective defensive treaties, or threat of economic or military action, most countries will see that having nuclear weapons is counterproductive.

The biggest factor in strengthening the NPT is one that Kaplan most likely refuses to acknowledge; Democracy. How many Democracies who have nuclear weapons are we threatened by? (France doesn't count) What is Bush's greatest legacy so far... the democratization of the Middle East. As history shows, Democracies don't threaten other Democracies (again, ignore France). The NPT is reinvigorated with every new Democracy that is formed, and Bush, like Reagan, knows that the democratization of the world will invalidate whatever threats exist to the free world.

Fred Kaplan made some valid points in his assessment of the failures of the Non-Proliferation Treaty, but failing to open his eyes to our nation's current attempts to stop proliferation through democratization and deterrence exemplifies the narrow thinking in today's NPT debate. Even Kofi Anan is falling prey to the same unrealistic, beatnik mentality of ‘No Nukes’. At the United Nation’s NPT review conference he reiterated the gloomy nightmare of mushroom clouds and nuclear winter if we didn’t rid the world of nuclear weapons soon.

Total nuclear disarmament is a dream. So is offering carrots to North Korea and Iran to stop their programs. If we stopped the Soviet Union from initiating nuclear Armageddon, we can certainly contain the threat Iran poses to the rest of the world through deterrence and democratization.

If not, a good 'ass-whooping' smack down never started a nuclear war either. (We can always test that hypothesis with France)

posted by El Capitan at 7:44 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 03, 2005
I'm Fighting The Urge.....

I'm so fighting the urge to comment on this Matt Drudge headline. I know it'll put another nail in my coffin bound for hell, but it's so tempting. It's oozing with irony!

Gunshots No One Heard: Deaf/mute man kills deaf/mute sister and deaf/mute brother-in-law for trying to move deaf/mute parents...

Oh the humanity.

posted by El Capitan at 7:40 AM 0 comments

Welcome to the Garfield Ridge Dating Game

Dave over at Garfield Ridge has a passion for Reality shows, so he's decided to go out on a limb and start his own. Welcome to the 1st season of "The Garfield Ridge Dating Game," where you'll see one of these lovely ladies get the chance of a lifetime... to become a love interest, housekeeper, and typist for Dave at Garfield Ridge!

Each of these ladies has been prescreened for intelligence, cooking and typing skills, and most important, circumference. Since Dave is a man of the world, and he Blogs like a dashing jet-set Playboy, why not give him something representative of this very large world we live in.

Let's meet the finalists!

posted by El Capitan at 1:20 AM 0 comments

Finalist Number 1

Bertha 'Jellybean' Johnson is 26 years old from Philidelphia. She's 5 feet high, weighs 450 pounds, types 120 words a minute, and can cook like Wolfgang Puck on Steroids. Her hobbies are eating, sleeping, and dictation... of blogs that is.

Bertha 'Jellybean' Johnson, a woman of the world.

posted by El Capitan at 1:19 AM 0 comments

Finalist Number 2

Ethel 'Pay at the Pump' Smith is 24 years old from Salem Oregon. She's 6 feet-4 inches high, weighs 525 pounds, types 100 words a minute, and learned how to cook by sitting on the couch and watching Martha Stewart while eating bonbons. Her hobbies are eating, sleeping, and eating, and she's the president and founding member of the Fat Bastard Fan Club. She's proudly displaying a handmade sign she crafted using fine silk, wool paper, and gold lace (a Martha Stewart Masterpiece) which shows her waist circumference in inches. Her dream in life is to become Dave at Garfield Ridge's personal assistant and live-in housekeeper.

Salem Oregon's Finest... and quite the seamstress.

posted by El Capitan at 1:18 AM 0 comments

And The Winner Is....

Ethel 'Pay at the Pump' Smith!

Congratulations Ethel and Dave. Right after the show we've chartered a private C-5 to take you two lovebirds on an exciting 10 day vacation in fabulous Addis Ababa, the Capital of Exotic Ethiopia. Afterwards Ethel will return home with you where she will cook and clean, as well as help write posts to your blog that you dictate to her.

Isn't she a dream Dave? She's all yours, so enjoy!

Ethel busts a move prior to her embarrassing 'Wardrobe Malfunction' at the show's final dance routine. Dave was later rushed to the hospital in serious condition after she mistook him for a barstool.

posted by El Capitan at 1:10 AM 0 comments

Preparing to Become Some Bulldog's Girl Toy

Let's be blunt. This woman has done more harm to our National image than anything I can imagine, yet she's plead guilty and is expected to only get 11 years. She needs to be put away for at least 20, possibly more. Her ugly mug is on every insurgent recruiting poster in the Middle East, and is probably responsible for more than a few acts of retribution against U.S. and Iraqi forces.

Lynndie England... I can't wait to hear you complain about being mistreated behind bars.

I'm sure her cell mates will enjoy the pretty ribbons.

posted by El Capitan at 12:53 AM 0 comments

Preparing to Become Someone's Bunk Buddy

Very few things piss me off, but this loser and his little Bulldog make my blood boil just by seeing their ugly mugs. This guy deserves life in prison. He's probably getting off with only a dozen or so years, but I'm sure Big Bubba, his future cell mate, is lubing up and ready to rock and roll.

This rat-bastard's prison nickname should be 'The Gimp', though that may seem too good for him.

Don't Drop The Soap! On second thought, take it B@#!!, and remember all the lives lost because of your sick, twisted mind.

posted by El Capitan at 12:45 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 02, 2005
Thank You CPL Glenn Watkins

If you're a reader of the "365 And A Wakeup: A True Warrior" blog, then you're familiar with the author's friend, CPL Glenn Watkins. Before he was taken from his fellow soldiers and family he left a message to be sent out in the event that he didn't make it back home. Here's the link to his message. Please read it. I quoted part of it below.

"...a man seldom has a choice in the manner of his death. It is only the manner in which he lives that is a mark of a true warrior."

Rest in Peace CPL Watkins

posted by El Capitan at 5:16 PM 2 comments

Latest Edition of 'Dude, WTF?'

Why is it that Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei can say that the U.S. deserved a 'Punch in the mouth' and no one gives it a second thought, whereas had Bush said that Iran needed a smack down (Which it does) the world would have condemned his comments as warmongering?

Speaking of Iran, check out Cox and Forkum's latest editorial cartoon. It's funny how these guys can call a spade for a spade, yet ABC/NBC/MSNBC/CNN/CBS have absolutely no clue as to what's going on in the world.

If the U.S. press had released a classified document disclosing the names of Italian troops, tactics, and critical information, how would Italy have reacted? Why is it that they can do that to us with out any hint of discomfort on our part.

Why aren't the 5 nations of the alliance trying to disarm North Korea up in arms regarding Kim Jong's latest show of force towards Japan? C'mon now, if anyone had 'test fired' a missile at China don't you think there would have been some sort of response? I guess Japan doesn't count.

Will changing MSNBC's name to The 'NBC News Channel' make a terrible network any better? Maybe they'll finally get better ratings than CMT's Duke's of Hazard reruns.

Why is it that President Bush is accused of fanning the flames of partisanship in Washington D.C., when after nearly 5 years in office nobody can find just one little quote from him where he acts partisan?

How long do you think it'll take for Lynndie England to complain about her treatment in Prison? Most importantly, do you think anyone will really care? Can't wait for those pictures to hit the internet.

posted by El Capitan at 6:01 AM 0 comments